Mirror, Mirror

and now i can feel it

the lockjaw of a soul, terrified

afraid of oneself and the encircling terrors outside

to reach out, to cave in

to lean on someone

never

you're a warrior 

independent and fearless

cocky and superhuman

who can't look in the mirror

for longer than five seconds 

without crying.

the shell of a beast b***h woman

writhing with anger

squewing over with sexuality

a young girl. still scared

of the bumps in the night.

his arms were too warm

his touch was just what was needed

what was needed

but. he took away my shell

my home my love my only reason

could he be my reason now..

no. trust no one, warrior woman

b***h girl never. trust is for the weak

you must be strong and alone

and love yourself when you can't

stand the inside of your own head.

pretend it all

keep laughing, keep them laughing

push him out and away and sink into yourself

find yourself again in the depths of the night

when you're still playing games 

listening to the same songs on repeat

the song of lost chemicals now that he's gone

the song of a broken heart that you 

shattered yourself.

epitome of self-destruction

who could ever love you when you will

break them and yourself.

he did, he could, he will, he does

stupid boy who got a glimpse behind your towers

the one who saw the girl in the high window

pity him for being so foolish

love him for being so kind

move on, for you are not worthy

Author's Note

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