New Friendships

My cabinmates from this summer are probably the best friends I've ever had.

I think I’m starting to realize 

that maybe I was never that close with my so-called ‘friends’

after all.

It only took finding people that I connected with quickly and deeply,

And noticing how different it was. 

How, with them, I wasn’t second-guessing every conversation,

constantly worrying if they actually like me,

afraid that one day they’d get annoyed and leave,

like I was with the people I’d known and loved for years.

In my friend group, I always felt like the invisible one, 

the expendable one,

the forgotten one, 

But every time I convinced myself I was being dramatic, 

that my mind was playing tricks on me.

But now, with these new people,

I realize that maybe I was right all along.

Because now I know what it feels like to be truly important to someone.

To be loved by your friends.

And above all, they make me feel safe.

But now I’m stuck questioning how to move forward with my old friends.

I don’t necessarily want to lose them,

seeing as how big of a role they’ve had in my life and development.

But I can’t deal with the stress of watering myself down to please them.

Making myself the best-looking friend so they never see the bad parts.

Giving up so much of myself only to get a cold reply or to be brushed aside.

I can not go back to being the ‘backup friend’

Only picked when no one else is available.

Always there but never acknowledged.

I’m somewhat tempted to just stop initiating conversations.

See how long it takes for them to reach out.

But what if that proves just how forgettable I am?

Reviews

[Essie W]

This is a good poem. I can feel that you put a lot of thought and emotion into it. One thing I would say is that your writing style is somewhere between prose and poetry. If you want this to read as a poem, I would cut down words that aren't strictly necessary to the meaning, rhyme, or rhythm. I would suggest going through each line, cut out some words (like "but" ) to see how the line sounds and then add back any words that really are needed. ot you could go evaluate where your line breaks are and make it more of a prose piece.