Absent Father

Whenever I find a poem about an absent father, 

It's always a case where they actually bonded with their child first.

Or, in the especially unfortunate direction, they were abusive.

The poets go on about how they can never stop thinking about their dad,

Or wondering why they weren’t good enough.

But, what about the people who never knew their dads?

The ones who forget about him until an outside source brings it up?

The ones like me, who only have a few vague memories of them.

(If any.)

Sure, you may find a fatherly figure, 

Someone who fills the gap you didn’t realize you had.

For me, it was my band teacher.

But after I lost him too, I just sort of…

grew out of the need for one.

And that honestly is scary and saddening to think about.

Not that he never showed up, 

But that I don’t care as much as it seems I should.

Because it seems like I should be angry

Like I should hate his guts

Like I should simultaneously want him back and never want to see him again

But I’m not.

And I don’t.

And at this point, I don’t know if that’s better or worse.

Author's Note

Please feel free to give me any advice you might have. I'm trying to become a better / more regular writer, so any constructive criticism is appreciated.

Reviews

[Claire]

So good! Truly conveys the feeling of loss. Sometimes the loss of something you’ve never experienced in its fullest form hurts worse than losing something you had.

[Arundass TP]

Dad is what a person is through imitating as role model. Person who has not seen dad imitates some other person who has touched their mind. Great poem