Can't Say Good bye

My Mother has been diagnosed with Extreme Dementia. She is in Boston. I an in Los Angeles. I flew back to see her and my heart never ever stopped breaking. It still hasn't

AMBIGUOUS GRieVING

No Matter how hard I Cry

It's so far from Ok

My Mother is lost

and I have

No Say

There's a Tsunami in My Soul

She's not gone but she's still Here
Her Mind has lost its way

I'm Not There
She's Not Here

Both of us are

Lost

in Nowhere

And so my Tears flow

Because She's gone but still here

And the tears

They flow unexpected

How do you Mourn the loss of

Someone who is still here?

how to you Mourn the one who raised you despite it all

Perhaps look back

and catch your breath

Laugh at the past

Know you're not dealing with death

My Mum has left the building
And the crack in my heart webs out

She won't be coming back

There is no doubt

And the tears flow

And flow

I

Author's Note

Just letting it go. Free form heartbreak.