Should I wake before I die

Class assignment, started with a given line: If I should wake before I die..." we were allowed to "dress it up" this is a draft of my result.

 

Should I wake before I die,

I shall count myself lucky

I shall count myself still waiting

For I know she holds,

Cupped in her soft hands,

my dried flower

Waiting for it to turn to dust

The dusk is here

We are both waiting

Author's Note

Just a draft of something for my creative writing class. Any and all comments and critiques welcom

Reviews

[nostal]

Awesome!
I love the poem in a whole but my favorite line was:
"The dusk is here."
It's so simple yet so ferocious.

[James Paulin]

Perhaps this poem speaks of deaths' permanence but implying value and beauty in the joy of being alive as converse thought instinctivly comes as a counterpoint. A reverse psychology poem could be construed. In an event, I enjoyed it.

[Theresa]

This is actually quite sad it's like if you wake before you die you are left waiting to die. It however is well written and it flows effortlessly. Nicely done.