heres my story.

theres a lot to know about me and my past... i trust you all on here to not use this against me. i wont go into detail... but... here i go.

when I was ten, my dad left. i was heartbroken, dead, i thought my life was over. i started cutting to get over the pain. i thought i was the reason he left. i blamed myself for everything. when your ten, you never know th truth. its always kept from u. i was alwas alone as a kid. sure, i had friends, but i was never loved, never had a boyfriend. i always thought it was because of me. i was never the pretty one. im usually always upstaged by my friends. they stole the show, andeveryones hearts. i used to be in band. i was colorguard; the flags, ya know. i was horrible. my guard captain was abusive, so i quit. looking back, if i hadnt have quit band, i wouldt have met my first boyfriend. things went good for a few months, then he got..... abusive.... we were only 13 at thetime (we had the same birthday). i let him abuse me for moths, thinking he did it out of love, that this is what love was. what a lie. then i met my most recent boyfriend (now turned ex). he treated me like a queen. he loved me, and i knew he never lied about it. we were amazing together. with each others help, we both quit cutting.  i realized i was bi, (with his help). i met an amazing girl. wen outwith her the same time as i was with him. i broke up wih her the same night he broke up with me. we were together for 1 year, 1 month, and 16 days. he fell in love with someone else. if it wasnt for him, i wouldnt have learned why m dad left us, never wouldve become who i am today, i would probably be 6 fee under. i owe him my life. the day before we broke up, we both got a message from  god saying we are soulmates. thats what hurts he most out of alll of this. i know that right now, things look tough, but they will look up.im struggling with self image, i cant eat, sleep, or even focus. times are hard. but they will get better. thats what i pulled from all this. people always talk about how hard their life is, when most of those people have everything handed to them on a silver platter. they dont know a hard life until they lived a life without their father... was abused, and used. they dont know the pain of living with a cutting addiction. they only judge. if they really knew, theyd know better. this is my story as of up to this minute. my story is constantly changing, but these are the events that have made me the strong, stubborn, beautiful (if only on the inside) girl i am today.

Author's Note

im not expecting reviews, i just wanted to show that i trust everyone on here. oh, and ignore grammar.

Reviews

[Anthony Q Armstrong]

Well, after reading this, and how all of the s**t that I've done. I'm tired of bullshit. And ya know, i guess not, you'll never know how i actually feel.

[Caitlynn Cusick]

how do u actually feel anthony????!!! you never let me in so i dont f*****g know how you feel!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[deaths calling]

thanks for sharing