The Letter C...

A poem of feelings felt with the letter C diagnoses.

Silent outside, screaming within,

sitting in the waiting room,

white walls are closing in, its grim,

waiting for potential doom.

 

Anxiety suffocating breath,

Then a white coat calls my name,

What fate awaits? Baited breath,

Will things ever be the same?

 

Panic consuming rational thought,

My feet dragging needing to steady,

Heavy concrete, chair I sought,

White coat talking “are you ready?”

 

Yes I whisper, no secretly,

Mind shut off, just after three words,

How can anyone be quite ready?

“You have cancer”, that was all I heard.

 

Stone cold receiver of this news,

With a blank stare I sit and gaze,

Panic silenced by dismay,

As his lips crawl along his face.

 

I feel a wave wash over me,

One of sadness, loss and grief,

Not the calmness of the sea,

A storm takes hold relentlessly.

 

Feeling lost, is this real?

Stumbling away from the white walls,

Is that the cause of the pain I feel?

As my heart begins to fall.

 

No it can’t be, pinch myself,

Denial taking hold of me,

Ripped into depression as I delve,

Down into the bitter abyss freely.

 

Taste of salt dries my throat,

I can’t talk, waves take me please,

Reality sets in, a nasty host,

I can’t believe it’s the letter C.

 

Panic, anxiety, it subdues,

Deep down hiding it resides,

Ready, waiting all askew,

Calmness, acceptance overrides.

 

How can I tell the ones I love,

This is the card being dealt,

It is fated from above,

A lonely feeling is one that’s felt.

 

A burst of strength sat down inside,

I come up and gasp for air,

I have the courage for this ride,

I wade to shore, away from fear.

 

I am determined to survive,

The letter C can be fought,

Every day that I’m alive,

A victory home, will be brought.

Author's Note

Feedback would be great :) Hope you enjoy it.

Reviews

[Broken Wings]

My prayers are with you through this hard time. Such a brave soul... this gave me insight on the turmoil that cancer patients go through when they find out this horrible news. I was glued to it all the way through. My heart goes out to anyone and everyone who is affected by this disease. I lost my grandmother to it 2 years ago, she battled with breast cancer and ovarian cancer and it spread. Although I wasn't as close as I wanted to be with her, her strength and love always shined through, as does yours.

[DJ]

Thank you Broken Wings, I'm sorry for your loss. Thank you for your kind words and support, its appreciated. All the best to you my friend.

[Broken Wings]

No problem :) Keep fighting.

[Vikrantsingh]

Cairo Dante this one is very touchy and felt it throughout... this one quiet a better piece which I wrote.. this one is purely brilliant. I hope I will get a chance to read more from you :)
Thanks Lori for sharing read request :)
Cheers!
Singh :)

[DJ]

Thank you so much Singh, I really appreciate you taking the time to read it, so glad you enjoyed it. I hope you do too. Take care and thanks again :)... and thank you Lori :)

[Vikrantsingh]

You are welcome dearie :)

[Riding the Rainbow]

Thank you for writing and posting this poem. It described your inner feelings and your strength...
I wish you all the best and I'll keep you in my prayers.
K.

[DJ]

Thank you so much Kejara, that is so nice of you.

[Angi]

What an achingly beautifully written piece this is. The journey you have taken us on so far was a brave one. Hoping, hoping the very best for you, Cairo. Angi~

[DJ]

Thank you so much Angi, for your words of kindness and taking the time to read my humble scribbles.

[Angi]

You are most welcome.

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you for sharing the poem. I believe would be a hard topic to write about. Cancer is a scary word. I like the description in the poem.
"A burst of strength sat down inside,
I come up and gasp for air,
I have the courage for this ride,
I wade to shore, away from fear."
A excellent poem. I like the above lines a lot.
Coyote

[DJ]

Thank you so much Coyote, I'm glad that you enjoyed it. Yes it is hard to write about, but it's nice to have a place where I can express all that I am feeling, freely, without judgement or shame.

[LightforChrist]

This poem is so beautiful and powerful! Great Job! My prayers and thoughts will be with you during this difficult time.

[DJ]

Thank you tinydancer, I appreciate your prayers and your comment. Wishing you all the best too.

[Ravyne Hawke]

My prayers and thoughts are with you, Cairo. I just finished chemo in March for stage 3 uterus cancer. As far as I can tell, I have beat it. Will know for sure in October. Your poem described exactly how I felt the day I was told I had cancer. I don't even know how I managed to get home that day. I must have been driving on auto-pilot. This is beautiful and powerful and filled with everything a cancer patient feels. Wonderful job and my best wishes that you will fully recover.

[DJ]

Thank you Lori, my prayers are with you too. I hope you get the best possible outcome in October! I love hearing positive outcomes like yours. I am currently battling stage 3 astro (brain tumor). I hope that one day soon Ill be able to say I beat it too. But for now I will keep going :) I'm glad that you liked the poem, but sad that it relates to you. All the best Lori, keep writing and keep smiling.

[Ravyne Hawke]

Thank you, Cairo. If you keep an eye out, come October all of WC will know yea or nay about the cancer situation.

[Larry Dyson]

ditto on loris comment Cairo..I have lymphoma that comes and goes and grows and istreated...we all know this feeling but i'm glad you ended on the more positive note of conquering it! Laury

[DJ]

Thank you Laury :) My thoughts and prayers are with you. Although bittersweet, its nice to meet other Letter C warriors on here :)

[Hana Saemon]

i love the flow. you've brought the reader on a journey. i hope you are recovering. stay strong.

[DJ]

Thank you, I hope so too.