Help Me

I need advice

Why is it that I can't get over him. It hurting me because I messed things up and everything was my fault. I hate myself for it but he won't even know how I how feel because all he wants to do is yell at me or hang up on me. I know he won't see anything I post on facebook or anything else because he blocked me. I just want to tell him how I feel or to figured out what we are going to do for our kid. I feel like a failure at life. I couldn't even keep the one most important person happy. I lost him after four months of being together. We had our moments but I want it all back even though people are telling me not to. They all say that they want me to be happy. But I was happy with him even though he made huge mistakes but I forgave him. I wish he would see that I'm hurting, but he can't. I know my roommate is trying to get him off my mind, and most of the time he's not on my mind my boyfriend is. I know my roommate is going through the same thing. My boyfriend knows what's going on and he's trying to help me. He told me that he was going to be there for my kid. I'm happy that's he's helping me. He makes me happy but I still have some feelings for my ex. I just need to get over my ex and focus on my kid.