Match made in Hades

A whimsical take on the a condemned soul being filibustered by a Devil who takes pride in the job he was made for.

Oh my, hello, our destinies are to collide shortly, so much to get ready for you and I to play.

You were always on a one way trip to me, soiled your deity's gift of life in such a delightful way.

Nature or nurture? I am an equal opportunist, a sadist like me can’t be to picky.

Demon’s are thugs playing at trivial terrors there in limbo, a mess bound to get sticky.

I’m so very patient, no part of you gets skipped, not today, no hall pass to be had here.

I’m an artist you're my canvas, my tools at the ready, right off the top tier.

More bad news, this millennia I’m feeling petty as hell, forgive the pun, for it’s the last humor I’ll spare.

Hope has no translation here, instead I’ll introduce you to a friend, familiarize yourself with despair.

Hot? I know, come closer I’ll shade you from the heat, pain is king here, time to bend a knee.

I know, this has been one sided, maybe a little verbose, the introduction was splendid, don’t you agree?

You were never lucky, didn’t you expect this?  Your game is over no need to repent.

Pound of flesh?  I’m afraid I higher demands, I'll get my due just as your last drops are slowly spent.

I understand it’s quite a burden, your cross so heavy, not even your messiah could hope to bare.

Life, a gift none of you deserved, maybe I influenced you with a whisper, I never said i played fair.

Author's Note

This was a quick write, and I had fun with it. Very likely will have some re-writes in the near future, any critics on structure/flow/awsomeness is appreciated.

Reviews

[Elizabeth]

wow, this was great! i really loved the poem's subtle wit which kept me amused till the end.

[Jamieya B-Johnson]

This is a nice thought-filled piece of art!

[Pete]

clever and forboding amidst the chuckles. i enjoyed this.

[DANGER]

OH, I have to read it slow!! sorry!! I thought, why isn't this the awesome that every poem of hers has got(?+ Oh it's like lyrics

[DANGER]

i PLAY on your lips, skipping rocks on the river's edge, my hat is fitted on simultaneous by two people, I surge into a door away from all the people on the street, I walk into a bamboo built shop, humid, surprised, as it is still, by the color of the race standing ready before a counter.

[DANGER]

you will have to rewrite it.. because I don't know why I'm reading it. Read it. OH! No, just awesomeness.. yessah esse.. omg that's a word: "essential nature or essence." Naw, I'm not criticizing I'm wanting more make-up.. "MAKE-UP! ... OVER HERE!.. ANYBODY."

[Carol Cashes]

I can hear Him as he extends his rude invitation. This is quite good for a quick write, and I enjoyed reading what I never hope to hear!

[JayG]

As you read this, the intent you have for the meaning guides you and it makes perfect sense...to you. But pity me. I have no context and your intent doesn't make it to the page, only the words you choose, and what they suggest to me.

And since you're not there to ask, I can only take the meaning the words suggest based on MY background and experience. So when someone I know nothing about addresses me with "Oh my, hello, our destinies are to collide shortly, so much to get ready for you and I to play. " what can it mean? So much to get ready for? Play? You hear life in the words, "Oh hello." I hear nothing but a monotone. Have your computer read it to you and you'll hear what a reader gets.

You know exactly what you mean. But the reader? Only uninformed guesses. And it matters not at all if it clarifies later because a confused reader is one closing the page, and if they do that, they'll never hear your message, worth though is.

When you edit, do so from the viewpoint of a reader who knows only what the words suggest to them, and who knows nothing of the background you take for granted.

Involve the reader and you win.

[Brent]

Humorous piece! Could use this comical piece instead of fear-mongering teachings to keep kids out of trouble. Flows well and shows the true unrelenting nature of a Devil.

Great piece on humans taking life for granted!

[Davidgeo]

As a poem this kinda blows. It has a kernel of quality to it though. Add some meat, make it story... or... practice some word economy to make it more lean and readable in that context. I suppose as long as you're having fun my review should not matter one way or the other.