VOICES IN THE MIRROR

I remember how we used to be so close, you and I. I would wake up early in the morning just to see you. Even if it was pouring outside, weather it was snowing, or even when there was that freak hail storm, no matter what- you would always be there. No matter what was happening in the family- like the time mom and dad were arguing about their work hours, and how they “didn’t spend enough time with us”- you would always be there.

I guess I had what you would call ‘friends’ at school, but they were more like table mates. The only time I talked to them was when we had to do some classwork, or maybe a project that we all had to do together. Even so, I was, for the most part, alone outside of school- except for you of course! And my little sister, Mia. But she was always doing her own thing- mostly just playing with toys. As for my parents- work, work, and more work. I guess I just got really used to your company…

…I don’t know what happened… D-did I do something wrong? I-is that it? Whatever I did, I-I’m sorry! Please! Are you not coming back because you think I’m mad at you?! Is that it? Well, come back! I swear I’m not mad at you! J-just… please… Don’t leave me alone…

…

It’s been so long now… Three months? Or, maybe six? Man, it’s been so long… Hasn’t it? Or, is it just me? God, I don’t care about what happened in the past, I just want to see you. Please, I’m begging you. Just one last time… Let me see you…

…

I guess you’re really not coming back… It’s been almost a year now. I guess, deep down, I always knew. It’s just, I can’t bring myself to admit it. I know you’re not coming back. I just can’t let go. Even though it hurts the more I hold on, I just can’t let those memories- you- go! I want to just stop all of this. I feel like I’m losing my mind! I keep holding on, but there isn’t anything to hold on to anymore!

You know what?! I just don’t care anymore! I have waited long enough! I have pleaded long enough! I have cried long enough! But, I just can’t let go of the fact that, not only did you leave me alone, but you’re taunting me?!

…

Are you not satisfied already?! It’s been almost two years now! Please, just stop! I’m begging you! Just leave me alone! Please…

It’s bad enough you took the image of me away! The memories of you! It’s bad enough I can’t see either of those anymore! Why must you taunt me with these- these- voices?! JUST GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!

Why won’t you stop…? What did I do…? Please, just tell me! I-I’ll do anything! J-just stop these voices! I- I can’t see them! I can’t see whose talking!

…

I can’t see where they’re coming from..! They’re all around me! JUST STOP!!

…

I… I think I know where they’re coming from… The source of the voices. How could I be so- so stupid? God, I’m so blind- no pun intended. The thing is; I need proof. Proof that that is where they’re actually coming from.

…

I was right! So, that’s it, huh? This whole time it was right in front of me. The funny thing is, that’s where we would always met up, every morning, everyday… and night. All we did is talk. I still miss you. But, I’ve finally moved on…

How could you be so cruel? I know these sounds- these echoes- voices- whatever you want to call them- they’re your doing, am I right? Have you been trying to punish me for something? Or, are you trying to tell me something…?

…

It’s become a part of my schedule now. Just how it was back then, remember? And it’s actually at the same time we used to meet up. These voices, I can’t understand what they’re saying- but, I can’t keep myself from listening. I’m drawn to them. I feel like, these aren’t just sounds, or something, I feel like these voices are trying to tell me something… And they sound scared… More than I was… I wonder what it could be…

Was it you? Did you send these voices? Are you trying to tell me something? Please, I can’t- I can’t understand what they’re saying! I-I need some kind of help!

…

It’s you… It really is. You never left, did you? God, I’m so sorry! I’m so stupid! Please, forgive me! You never left me! I’m so sorry! You were always there! At our usual spot. You waited for me… And I just left you there… After I stopped seeing you, at least, when I thought you left, I never sat there again. I never went to my desk in the morning anymore. Why would I? I had no use for a mirror anymore…

…

I-IT’S NOT TRUE!! YOU WERE ALWAYS THERE RIGHT?! THERE WAS NO WAY I WAS ALONE! These people, they think I’m crazy! But, I’m not, am I? You were always there, at my desk, waiting for me every morning right? Please, tell them I’M NOT CRAZY!

…

YOU HAVE TO HELP ME! They want to take me to some hospital or something. They say I need to “see a professional.” They just don’t understand me… But if- if you tell them yourself, they’ll have to admit I’m right!

…

I finally got your message… so it’s true… You didn’t leave me that day, because… you were never there…

I still can’t believe it. I REFUSE TO ACCEPT IT! YOU WERE THERE! YOU WERE MY FRIEND! We would sit, and talk together, there’s no way I could have made that up in my head! There’s just no way!

I-I know I can’t see you anymore, but it’s not because you left, it’s because… of me… I began to lose my sight a few years ago. Then, I lost it all.

I guess I blamed you… I had to put the blame on someone… And that someone was the person who “abandoned” me… The person I hated more than anything, for being so stupid. I ended up blaming my own reflection in the mirror… I blamed you, my only friend, because I was angry with myself. It was because of me that I could no longer see you. I was mad at you- at me- for being so weak. I couldn’t accept the fact that I was blind. So I established that… you were the one who left me…

It’s not all bad, though. I mean, I know I can no longer see you, or anything for that matter. But, I’m not angry anymore. I show up every morning now. I spend hours sitting in my desk chair. Just how it was back then. God, it’s been so long since I had someone to talk to. I was so caught up in the excitement that I almost forgot to thank you. So, thank you. Even though I blamed you, you weren’t mad. In fact, you even left me a gift.

Though the image of you is gone forever. I still have one thing. And I will cherish it for as long as I live. You left one thing behind for me, the thing that saved me. It was you, wasn’t it? You were the one who gave them to me. The voices in the mirror…

Author's Note

I hope you enjoyed! Thanks for reading, and please let me know what you think! :D