CONTEMPLATED INEBRIATED

There is a social lubricant running through my veins
A dutch courage convincing my brain
that I am worthy of more than I believe
I find it hard to conceive the reality that spins around me.
Complexities that confound me.

However theses highs, are met by the lows
which clearly shows my true self.
The insecure man who looks for a mate.
Just that one person who will make this night that little bit longer.
Who will make this child’s confidence that bit stronger.

But they never come.
So I’m left at home feeling undone,
waiting for the loneliness to end with the sun.
For the dawn brings a new day,
and a day is a chance,
a chance for me to be myself,
to be the man I can be.

A chance for me to love without return
without thanks.
A chance for me to work to better myself
to make my shelf life eternity,
for others to see who I truly am.

All I wish is for my past to stop shaping my present
so I can shape my present, to craft my future,
to make me believe, to make me sure
that this is who I am
and this is what I want

Just a simple embrace
and a comforting place.