Chapter Twenty Four

 He showed me indeed.  If time seemed to flow differently the first time, it ceased to exist altogether this one.  The term foreplay didn’t do justice to what I felt.  We paid tribute to each other with hands, lips, tongues, words, and eyes, as we floated in a self-made sea of ecstasy.  When it came to the main act of lovemaking, he was even more patient and slower than before.

 He held me closer this time, cradling my shoulders with one arm while the other roamed anywhere it could reach to hungrily take me in.  I traced my fingers along his back, entwined them in his hair, stroked his arms.

 As Jay pressed into me I could feel his strength, but I started thinking of his other strengths as well.  I thought of all the stories he had told me over the weeks.  Mistreated by coworkers, witness to sights more horrible than I would be able to stand, subject to crazy hours that were ruining his health...  This man bore it all patiently without retaliating.

 A thought came to me that I almost buried out of reflex.  When I chose not to ignore it, it grew as if from a seed that had found fertile ground.  I imagined him as a knight.  The battlefield is within us, it always was.  He faces it every day and comes home unchanged, still his gentle self.  Even if his wars were psychological in nature, were they any less genuine?  My mind took to the fantasy immediately, and quite naturally.  I felt something change, though I couldn’t say how.  Everything went from perfect to...  What?

 With a deep breath, I faced something in myself as well.  Emboldened by past conversations as well as the deep-rooted trust I had for him, I touched his cheek so that he looked me in the eye.  “You are a knight, aren’t you?  A real one,” I said with a touch of wonder in my voice.  Saying it out loud, I felt I’d come to understand something.

 I knew of course he wouldn’t say it about himself.  I didn’t really expect anything specifically, but a wonderful spark came to his eyes, and I knew I had touched him deeply.  He smiled and simply breathed, “Princess,” and I knew we were in the same place.

 As we finished my mind put me into every story I’d ever read, and yet none of them.  I was all at once Cinderella, Cleopatra, Helen of Troy.  He was my knight, my prince, my king.  And then he was laying heavily on top of me, sweating and out of breath.

 We were silent for quite awhile.  When I finally spoke, he was on his back holding me to him.  “What happened there?” I asked.  “Was that...  Real?  That was more than fantasizing.  It was almost like a...  Hallucination or something.”

 “We’ve been over the ‘reality’ thing before,” he said with a lazy, contented smile.  “Did it feel real?”

 “I...  Yes, but...  Did you feel it too?”

 “I did...  And I can understand your need to ask if it was real.  It seems too good to be true.”

----

 It was no harder for my coworkers to know what had happened than it had been for Jay’s.  “Laura, you look exhausted and yet...  Patty, do you see it?” Manny asked.

 “There’s a definite bounce in your step,” Patty teased.

 “Alright, you two,” I laughed as I punched in.  “What are you going to do, act surprised?”

 “I don’t know, it feels like we should buy you a cake or something,” Manny said.

 “A cake?” I asked in mild exasperation.  “We’re not married or anything.”

 “So what did happen?”

 “I thought you had that all figured out.”

 “No, I mean why, and how, and what happens now?”

 “It just started with him putting his arm around me.”  I laughed again as I admitted to pulling him into my bedroom when he had only planned on a cuddle, at most.

 “Oh my god, Laura!” Manny laughed, putting fingers to his lips.  “You go, girl.  Way to take the bull by the horns.”

 “Why are you so tired then, if it all happened in the morning?” Patty asked.

 They all ‘ooh’ed when I told them it happened late at night, as well.  “As for what happens now...  I guess I’ll see him when he gets home from work.”

----

 I called Sara while Madison was having her after school snack.  “What’s up, little sis?”

 I held my breath for a second to help control my voice.  “Well, I figured I’d call and tell you that you were right.”

 “Right about what?”

 “Jay and I are...  Exploring a relationship.”

 I had phrased it so vaguely as an invitation for her to tease me, but she didn’t.  “So what are you saying, are you two together or what?”

 “Figuring it out I guess, but...  Sara, he was wonderful.  I’ve never felt like this before.”

 “That’s nice to hear, I’m happy for you,” she said distantly.

 “Sara, is everything okay with you?”

 “Hmm...  I sound distracted, don’t I?”

 “Yeah, what’s going on?”

 “I haven’t heard from Brian in a few days, and I’m thinking about it too much.”

 “Isn’t he supposed to be back by now?”

 “That wasn’t really definite, but he said he’d be in touch.  And...  He hasn’t.”

 I wondered to myself if she was over thinking things, but didn’t want to worry her.  “I’m sure he’ll get back to you.  He’s probably just busy.”

 “Probably.  Well, I’m going to let you go.  I’m glad to hear you’re happy.  Love you.”

 “I love you too, Sara,” I said, wishing there were more to say, and we hung up.

 I did see Jay that night, and with the help of afternoon naps I saw him every night that he didn’t get home extra late.  He became a stranger to his own bed, and I got a sense of how awful call was.  I shared his groans when his cell phone went off, putting my arm where he’d been laying to feel the heat dissipate.  He minded far less, he told me, knowing at least he was coming back to me.

 The few evenings he would be home for were even better.  The first night it happened I was overwhelmed with the same feeling he’d morosely described to me the night of the dinner party...

 He was sitting in the living room with Madison.  She had lost a lot of interest in television when he was around, as he had taken to reading to her.  Tonight it was a few more selections from Aesop’s Fables.  I listened to them as I stood in the kitchen getting dinner ready.  He concluded with the story about the ant and the grasshopper.

 “Did that really happen, Jay?” she asked him.

 “Hmm,” he started thoughtfully.  “Well, did you see it in your mind?”

 “Yes.”

 “So it really happened there, then.  Right?”

 “I mean did it really happen.”

 I smiled, remembering our first in-depth conversation.  “Madison, listen.  This is important.  Even if it happened in your mind and nowhere else, that doesn’t mean it isn’t real.  Just ask your mommy, she’ll tell you the same thing.  But I’ll answer your question.  In a way, it’s something that happens all the time.  When Aesop wrote these stories, he was really talking about people.  He just uses animals.”

 “How come?”

 Jay’s laugh made me smile to myself.  “I wish I could ask him, but he lived a long time ago.  I can only make guesses.  Maybe he just knew it would make them more fun for little girls to listen to.  Or he could have thought of the stories while watching real animals, and wanted to give them fair credit.”  I laughed then, knowing even he wouldn’t be able to say if he was serious about that statement or not.  “Anyway, things like this are something people do all the time.  These stories are meant to teach us not to make the same mistakes those animals make.  Did you learn from the ant and the grasshopper?”

 “I sure did,” Madison said as if she’d just dodged a bullet.  “May I go play with Mariah in my room?”

 “Of course.  I’m glad you liked the stories.”

 I went back to cutting as I heard six little legs race up the stairs.  I assumed Jay stayed on the love seat to read some more since I heard nothing else, and jumped when he suddenly put his arms around my waist from behind.  “Want some help?” he laughed.

 I settled into the hug, resting my head back against his shoulder.  What I wanted was for him to not let go, but I had more to do.  “You can tenderize the chicken if you feel like it,” I said.  “It doesn’t need it, but...”

 When he finished kissing my neck he pulled the meat out of the fridge, grabbed the mallet from the drawer, and got to work.  I took several little breaks from my cutting to look at him, watching the muscles of his forearm twitch as he hammered away.  Half the time, our eyes met as he also stole a glance, and we smiled at each other.  That was when the feeling hit me, that we were becoming a family.  What am I to you? I had the urge to ask, but I didn’t.  Things were just fine they way they were, as far as I was concerned.

Reviews

[Sarah]

Jay really is becoming a member of the family. He sleeps in bed with her, helps her cook, reads to her daughter. He's almost becoming a father figure to Madison, and it makes me wonder what she thinks of him. We already know that she has taken a liking to him, but would she be okay with him as a member of the family. A possible step-dad? I'm wondering what she thinks about the whole idea.

Also, I can't stop wondering about Earl. Will he be back soon? Will he be back when Jay isn't there. I'm thinking he'll come by when Jay is on call or at work and Laura will have to explain everything to him, and maybe even use that karate move on him. (And if I just spoiled the rest of this story, then it's somewhat predictable and I'm sorry!)

[Christopher Miller]

Happy to say, it isn't all so simple.