Chapter Fourteen

 It kept feeling right all evening long.  I stood over the stove, pan-frying the potatoes Jay had sliced for me.  The man’s good with a knife, I thought as I turned them over, admiring how evenly and consistently thin he’d cut them.

 He surprised me by coming into the kitchen.  Madison had abducted him to watch Rapunzel again.  “Hey.  How’d you end up breaking away?” I asked, hoping my pleasure wasn’t too evident.

 “She graciously gave me permission to see how you’re doing.  Don’t worry, Mariah’s taken my place.  Madison’s forgotten me already.”

 “I don’t know,” I said.  “I can’t tell which of the two of you she loves more.”

 Jay sat at the kitchen table in a comfortable slouch.  “I don’t think she’d be amused if I tried licking her face.  Mariah wins.”

 I rolled my eyes with a frustrated grunt.  “You take her liking you so lightly.  I hope you get to see her around some strangers soon.  Then you’ll see what I mean.”

 “Hey, now.  I talk about it lightly, sure.  The truth is, her affection means the world to me.”  He almost sounded hurt.

 “I was only kidding,” I said.  After a pause I added, “It really means that much?”

 “Of course it does!”  He paused to form his thoughts.  “Children know things, their brains aren’t conditioned to see things the way they’re told to yet.  And they’re honest.  If they don’t like you, they aren’t going to pretend otherwise.  I don’t know what Madison likes me for, really, but I do know it’s genuine.  It’s touching.  If I’m honest, the fact that Madison is such a special little girl makes it mean even more.  It tells me, maybe I’m not such a bad guy.”

 “Jay, you know you’re not a bad guy at all.”  I tried to prevent it, but my voice slid into that lower tone that comes with opening up to people.  “Don’t you?”

 He took in a thoughtful breath.  “It’s not that I think I’m bad.  I mean, I really work at being nice to everybody, even when I don’t think they deserve it, even though I’m not perfect at it.  I know that.  It’s more that I take too many things personally.  Something bad happens, and I feel like the world’s just picking on me.  Like when my car battery died, the day we met.  I was just starting to feel better after doing Madison’s x-ray, and it...  I don’t know, felt like something knew that and was punishing me for it.  Does that make sense?”

 I turned the stove off.  “Madison sweetie, come have dinner,” I called.  To Jay I said, “It doesn’t make sense to feel that, no.  But I do the same thing, so I know exactly what you mean.”

 “So, you understand what I mean when I say how much it means to me that Madison likes me.”

 Madison came in as he was saying that, catching the last part.  She quickly walked over to him and hugged his legs, laying her head in his lap for a moment, before taking her seat.

 “Aw.  Thanks, Madison.”  Jay was smiling when he said it, but there was something sad in his expression, and his voice.

 “You’re welcome,” she said disinterestedly.  I wondered if she knew what he was thanking her for.

 “Are you alright?” I asked Jay.

 He nodded.  “Yeah, I’m just...”  He gave a frustrated sigh, for lack of words.  “Things kind of hit me sometimes, I guess.”

 He didn’t want to talk about it, was what he was saying.  Whatever he was thinking about kept him in an off mood throughout dinner, though he hadn’t fallen silent.  We managed to keep the conversation centered on lighter things.

----

 Madison couldn’t believe her luck when I told her Jay was home Wednesday, when I stopped to pick her up from the neighbor’s.  “Jay’s never home when you get home, Mommy!”

 “He’s not working today,” I said.

 “But it’s not the weekend, is it?”

 I laughed.  “It’s his weekend, dear.  He works different days than Mommy.”

 “That’s weird...” she said thoughtfully.

 Mariah attacked her with kisses as soon as she could fit her nose through the door.  Jay was sitting in the armchair, reading that Tao Te Ching.  “Hey guys,” he said, laughing at Mariah and Madison trying to make it through the door.

 “Mommy, can we go to the park with Mariah again?”

 “No sweetie, remember Aunt Sara and Jay’s friend are coming over for dinner?  Mommy has to get ready.”

 Madison thought for a second.  “Does Jay have to get ready?”

 He laughed at that, but said, “I think your mom would want to go, if we went.”

 “Would you like to play in the backyard with her, sweetie?”

 She pouted.  “Jay can’t throw the frisbee back there.”

 Hearing the word, Mariah’s ears perked up and her posture straightened.  With a huff she went to stand by the door.  “Oh no, now you’ve done it,” Jay told Madison.

 “What?” she asked worriedly, not picking up on the humor in his tone.

 He gave her head a comforting caress.  “She knows that word, now she thinks we’re going.”  As if she knew she was being talked about, Mariah walked in a quick circle just to face the door again.  “See?  That’s how she says ‘hurry up’.”

 “We can’t go, Mariah,” Madison said, and her sad little voice wore down the last of my resistance.

 “You know what?”  I looked at the clock.  “I think it’s a good idea, if you swear you’ll make it back here before Beth shows up.”

 He looked at the clock himself.  “It’s going to be a lot shorter than Monday,” he said to Madison.

 “That’s okay,” she said, and stood next to Mariah in what was almost a two-legged parody of Mariah’s excitement.

 “I guess we’re going, then.”  Jay stood and went to his room to put his book away.  “You’re sure you’re okay with this?” he asked when he came back out.

 I knew what he meant.  “You’re a good person, Jay,” I said, looking into his eyes.  “Madison and I could both tell since we met.  Of course I trust you.  Go, have fun,” I smiled.

 “Thank you,” he said, returning the eye contact.  I could tell he was having one of the maybe-I’m-not-such-a-bad-guy moments he had described.  The trio left me to my preparations.

----

 I heard a car door, and for a split second I thought they were back.  Then I saw the time, and remembered Jay hadn’t driven to the park.  Oh, no.

 It wasn’t that I didn’t want to meet Beth.  I was actually quite curious to see what kind of girl Jay would go for.  However, I was usually awkward when meeting people to begin with.  Now I was going to meet an old flame of a man I had recently admitted to myself I was becoming infatuated with.  I had no idea what emotions I was about to have to deal with.  I suppose that depends on what she’s like.

 I went to the window, and saw a girl who had to be in her earliest twenties coming up my walk, her ponytail bouncing along behind her.  I stroked my own heavy braid, which was laying over my shoulder.  Thin, young, and cute.  Of course.

 She rang my bell.  “Hi...  Are you Laura?” she asked nervously.

 “Yes, hi.  You must be Beth?  Come in,” I said as I opened the storm door for her.

 She nodded.  “It’s funny,” she said when she was in.  “I knew your address, I saw Jay’s car outside, and still I get nervous that I’m at the wrong place.”

 I laughed in sympathy.  “I know what you mean.  Just because you haven’t been somewhere, right?”

 “Right,” she said.  “He is here, right?”

 “He’s supposed to be,” I said, able to laugh since the ice was broken already.  “Come on in and have a seat,” I said before explaining.  “Can I get you anything?  A drink?”

 “Anything carbonated would be heaven right now,” she said.  “So, where’s Jay then?”

 I got her a soda.  “Want a glass?”  Beth shook her head with a polite smile.  “He and my daughter took his dog to the park.  He assured me he would be back by five.”

 “Oh, Mariah!  I love Mariah, I haven’t seen her in forever.”

 My neck stiffened as my inner b***h considered the possibility that she was trying to work the fact that they used to date into conversation.  It only took a glance to see she wasn’t so artificial.  Will you relax?

 “How was he going to know when five came around?” Beth asked suddenly, smiling at something funny.  I just looked at her for an explanation.  “You are aware he doesn’t wear a watch, right?”  She broke into laughter when she saw my expression, and tried to cut it off.  “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” she said, waving her hands.

 I laughed too.  “It’s fine, I’m just thinking, is he aware he doesn’t wear a watch?  Why did he say he’d be back if he knew...”

 Beth shrugged, and sipped at her drink.  “We can pay him back, if you like.”  There was a playful note to her voice.

 “How’s that?” I asked.

 “I work with Jay.  I’m full of stories to embarrass him with,” she said, grinning wickedly.

 “Oh, do tell,” I said.  I was definitely starting to like Beth.

----

 Jay’s voice outside the front window let me know they were back.  Mariah was the first one into the kitchen, sniffing along until she found Beth.  “Mariah!” Beth said.  On sight of her, Mariah’s tail started wagging.  She put her front paws in Beth’s lap to give a few kisses before finding her water bowl.

 “Beth!” Jay said with a smile when he came in.  “You’re early!”

 “Yeah, try again, buddy,” she said.  It was clear that they were familiar with each other’s sense of humor.  Jay had feigned surprise well enough to fool me.

 He did try, but nothing else came.  “I’m in trouble.”

 “Jay, I have to know,” I said.  “What made you say you were sure you’d be back on time, when you know you don’t wear a watch?”

 He shrugged and smiled.  “Sorry about that.  I wasn’t going to stay very long, just ten minutes or so.  Then I guess I just kind of spaced out as we all played together.”  He laughed, and took a seat.  “I forgot all about tonight, actually.  I came right back when it hit me, I swear.  You two did alright, didn’t you?  I don’t see any clumps of pulled hair or blood spattered on the walls.”

 “Well, I guess we’re just lucky Laura is a good housekeeper then, aren’t we?” Beth asked in mock testiness.

 I noticed Madison standing in the doorway to the kitchen, staring at Beth.  “Oh, Madison, this is Beth.  She’s Jay’s friend.”

 “Hi, Madison!” Beth said, bending forward in her chair.

 “Hello,” Madison said shyly, with a step backward.

 “Want to come sit with us?” I asked, drawing her gaze.

 She looked at Beth again.  “No, thank you.”

 “Would you like to play upstairs?”

 “Alright,” she said, and vanished.  Mariah shortly followed her up.

 “Ouch.  Shy, huh?” Beth asked, straightening back up.

 “See, Jay?” I said triumphantly.

 “See what?” Beth asked.

 “How she was just now is how she always is with strangers.  Except for this one,” I rested my hand on Jay’s shoulder as I walked behind him to get something, “Who insists on acting like it’s no big deal.”  Jay’s brow started to furrow, and I smiled at him to let him know that was a private joke between us.

 He relaxed back into his chair.  “That doesn’t mean anything.  Beth’s terrifying.”  He smiled back at me.

 Another car door shut just then, and Mariah came down the stairs barking.  The door opened as I came into the living room.  “Oh my gosh, that startled me,” Sara said as her head came into view.  “I forgot he had a dog.”

 “Hi, Sara.”  I hugged my sister.  “Thanks for coming,” I said so only she could hear.

 “I wouldn't miss it, Sis,” she said just as quietly.  “Congratulations.”

 We went into the kitchen.  “Sara, this is Jay and Beth.  Guys, this is my sister, Sara.”

 Everyone greeted each other, and Sara sat while I finished getting things ready.

 “So Jay, how has living here been so far?” Sara asked to break the silence.

 “Heh,” he laughed.  “Have you ever lived in an obnoxiously noisy apartment, by chance?”

 “I have not, I’m glad to say.”

 “I’ll just say it’s been wonderfully quiet here, then.  It’s such a change, it almost feels like my brain’s changing shape.”  Beth laughed at that.  “I’m serious,” he continued.  “Every day I go to punch out with this sense of dread that doesn’t apply anymore.  Every time I realize that, it feels like my head’s trying to reprogram itself.  Even when I’m here I’ll suddenly notice I’m tensing up, because subconsciously I’m expecting someone to start yelling suddenly.”

 “Was it that bad?” Sara asked.

 “You should have seen him some days,” Beth said.  “Dead on his feet.  I don’t know how he kept working.”

 “Oh that’s right, Laura said you work with him.”

 “God help me,” she said.

 Conversation paused when we heard Madison’s voice.  We all looked at each other, no one had heard what she’d said.  “What, sweetie?” I called up.

 There was a pause.  “Mariah?” she repeated.  We all laughed, realizing she wasn’t talking to any of us.  Mariah’s ears perked up and she left the room like she was in a race.

 “Really, Jay’s great to work with,” Beth went on.  “He does anything for anybody.  I’m one of the few people who doesn’t s**t on him for it.”  To me she said, “I’m sure he’s told you, I wouldn’t have gotten to Madison’s x-ray until about eight o’clock that night.”

 “He didn’t tell me that specifically,” I said, looking at him.

 “Us underdogs have to stick together, right?” he said.

 “Uh-oh.  Underdogs?” Sara asked.

 “Jay and I are per-diems, working full time hours on an irregular schedule.  There’s a couple more of us, but the bulk of the department is made of about eight people who have exploiting the rest of us down to a science.”

 “How can they exploit you?”

 “Ugh.  I can’t even explain.  Jay?”

 “It’s a lot of little things, I guess,” he said.  “Like Beth said, it’s down to a science with them.  They make us do all the work, and take all the credit.  I exaggerate, but they do it with a lot of exams, especially by the end of the day.”

 “How can they take credit for your work?” I asked.

 “When we finish an exam, we put our names into a computer to say it’s done.  The other,” he stopped to laugh and repeat ‘other’ in a deeper voice, “techs will sit out there sometimes, putting their own names in for work we did.”

 “How can they get away with something like that?”

 “They get told not to, and keep doing it,” Beth said.  “They also stick up for each other endlessly, and they manage to stick us with the worst assignments...”

 “I had to spend a day in the OR just Monday,” Jay told Beth.  “Just because Erica happened to be doing an x-ray when they called for her.”

 Beth slapped the table.  “Perfect example.”  Her expression actually assumed some anger when she realized he meant this Monday just past.  “Wait, again?  Like, this week?”

 “Two days ago...” he confirmed.  He turned to me.  “No one wants to go to the operating room.  You stand there wearing twenty pounds of lead with some surgeon screaming at you the whole time.  And it’s boring.”

 “I had no idea you had such a rotten day Monday,” I said.  “You could have told me about it,” I added sympathetically.  I saw a look pass between Beth and Sara.

 “I could have,” Jay said.  “I didn’t even think to.  Instead I went to the park with you and Madison, and forgot about it entirely.”

 “Aww,” Beth teased.  “That’s so sweet.”

 “I did,” Jay said, more to himself than anyone.  “Well Sara, that answers your question better than anything.  I forgot about a pretty awful day before I made it through the front door.”

 “Sounds like you found ‘home’.” Sara smiled at him.

 Jay only smiled back, and fell silent.

Reviews

[Sarah]

I feel as though there is still some chemistry between Beth and Jay. I'm unsure if either of them still has feelings for the other. They haven't really made it clear. I think the reactions of Laura are perfect when she talks about her b***h side coming out, but she drops it right away. I'm not specifically the jealous type, but Laura seems to be, so I would think she would've been more skeptical of Beth than accepting her right away. I wonder if she feels intimidated by her. She said she's thin and young, and I feel as though Laura feels weaker compared to her. I wasn't sure if Beth was trying to make Laura jealous when she arrived, but that's the vibe I got.

Overall, your writing is so eloquent and it just baffles me how natural it all is. You say all the right things at all the right times. I just don't know how you do it. Publish this freaking book already, and I swear I'll buy it!

[Christopher Miller]

You can always get the Lavender books to tide you over... This one will be awhile with all the good advice I'm getting here. I did miss a chance when Beth touched his arm. I'll have to use that.
What I was going for was Laura being on guard at first, then giving Beth the benefit of the doubt. I don't think I want to say any more than that.