Chapter Thirteen

 I called Sara that weekend and she was happy to come over for dinner, though her fiancée Brian was in fact out of town for the rest of the month.  We all agreed on Wednesday, and Jay invited his friend.  The week passed quickly, because of my excitement.  I barely saw anything of Jay.  I had tried waiting up for him at night, but he was stopping by his apartment to grab boxes on his way home, getting him back after midnight.  He slept late, so even on the weekend I only saw him briefly before he left for work.

 I only got to really see him once the whole week, on Monday night when he had his day shift.  I had to laugh when Madison and Mariah both went to the window at the sound of his car door.  “Jay’s home, Mommy!” Madison yelled excitedly.  “How come?”

 “He worked when Mommy worked today,” I said.  I looked out and saw he was barely managing to carry another box, as well as his work bag.

 I held the door open for him.  “Oh, what timing,” he said.  When he made it through the door he set everything down.  “Whew!  Thanks.  Typical male...  Even after every stand-up comic has made fun of us for it, I just can’t make one more trip than think I have to.”

 “Jay!”  Madison hugged him around his knees.  I felt like she was attacking him and almost called her away, but he was smiling.  At least she let him put his load down first.  Mariah shuffled her feet behind Madison for a moment before running to his other side and jumping on him.

 “Come on, now,” he laughed, and appeared to wade his way to the armchair.  Madison climbed into his lap while Mariah put her front paws on him, trying to lick his face.

 I laughed at the spectacle.  “So what have you got today?” I asked, looking at what he’d written on the box.  “Scriptures one?”

 “Yep.  I have more to get, would you mind holding the door again?”

 “Sure.”

 “Alright, you two...”  He stood slowly, setting Madison down.  He brought in two more boxes stacked on top of each other, scriptures two and three.  “Awesome.  Thank you.”

 “Are those all bibles or something?” I asked.

 “You could say that,” he said.  “Have a look, if you want,” he added when I continued to stare silently.

 I opened the box closest to me, and all the books said ‘The Tao Te Ching’.  “Are these all the same?”

 “The Bhagavad Gita, The Dhammapada, and The Tao Te Ching.  Three holy books from other cultures, and several translations of each.  You could say they’re the same, but they are all different books.  There are a couple bibles in there of course, but I’m not getting into all the translations of that one.”

 “Why so many translations of the others?”

 “They all come off differently.  I think if you’re really going to have a chance at knowing what something said originally in a language you’re never going to learn, the next best thing is to see what ideas emerge across several translations, not just one.”

 “The bible was in a different language, too.”

 He shrugged.  “Raised on King James, I guess.  Plus, I don’t trust more modern ones to be free of agendas.  Not that the King James one isn’t.”

 “Going to preach to me?” I joked.

 “No!”  he said quickly, and his voice fell when he saw I was kidding.  “No.  I quote them sometimes...  I can make sure I don’t,” he started, and I shook my head.

 “No, it’s fine, I don’t mind at all.  I’m curious, though.  Why do you read them?”

 Jay took a seat before answering.  This time, I joined him on the love seat.  “I guess the best way to put it is, they bring me peace.  It’s easy to get caught up in the little day to day things.  If you spend too much time like that, you can forget what’s really important.”

 “And what might that be?”

 “Well,” Jay said with a laugh that said that wasn’t easily answered, “people have written books about it.”  He patted one of the boxes.  He continued more seriously, “I used to start every day by reading a bit of one of them.  It made such a difference...  I was actually hoping to start again, now that I won’t be so exhausted all the time.”

 “You’ll still be up for dinner Wednesday, I hope,” I reminded him.

 “Yes.  Only my friend Tristan can’t make it, and Beth is coming instead.”

 Something caught in my throat.  “Beth?”

 “The girl from work.  I told you about her, actually.”

 I know who you mean!  “Yes, I’m just surprised.  I mean, I thought you two...”  Jay didn’t take the cue to finish for me.  “I thought things didn’t end well with you two.  Or did you work things out?”

 With a smirk Jay said, “Things ended earlier than we thought they would, that night.  Nothing ended badly.  Like I said, we just weren’t...  Compatible.”  I wanted to ask him so badly what that was supposed to mean!  “I also said we’re still friends now.”  His head tilted slightly.  “Want me to tell her never mind?”

 “Oh no, it’s fine.”  I was trying to figure out what exactly I was feeling.  I liked Jay but didn’t plan on doing anything about it.  Jay and Beth had been together but didn’t like each other, apparently.  Where in all of that could jealousy fit in?  “I’m just surprised you would still be going on dates with her after, I guess.”

 Jay laughed.  “It wasn’t a date when I invited Tristan, was it?  This isn’t ‘going out’, believe me.  I definitely wouldn’t call it a date.  She might be doing it because she feels sorry for me, though.  I told you she feels awful about the rumors.”

 He seemed comfortable talking about her, and I wanted to know more.  “Do you still like her?”

 His smile disappeared as he turned again to introspection.  “There’s that word again.  Like.  How about, tell me what you mean, and I’ll tell you.”

 Yes, what do you mean?  “I’m not sure myself, I guess.  Do you...  Wish it had worked out between you?”

 “Hmm.  Well, I said before, I wasn’t her type.  She isn’t mine either, really, it just feels weird to say it like that.  I feel like I’m being picky.  Anyway, in that respect no.  I don’t wish it had worked, because it couldn’t have.  Do I wish we had hit it off and I’d found the perfect girl?  Sure, I mean no one wants to be alone.  But wishing for things to have gone differently would mean wishing for Beth to be a different person, who would no longer be Beth.”  He laughed.  “I do like her very much as a friend, however.  Does that answer your question?”

 “Yes.  I was just curious, I’m not trying to be nosy.”

 He waved his hand dismissively to let me know he didn’t take it like that.  “She’s excited to meet you, by the way.”

 “Beth?  To meet me?  Why?”

 “She wouldn’t say.”

 Jay was smiling in a way that made me laugh.  “What?”

 “She agreed to come when I asked, adding that it would be great to meet you.  I asked why, and she just laughed and said ‘Why do you think?’  Any attempt to make it clear that I had no idea why only made her laugh harder.”  He shrugged.  “But she assured me, she’ll be here.  Oh, and I told her five, is that alright?”

 Sara wasn’t going to make it until six at the earliest.  “She can come early,” I said with a smile just to tease Jay.

 “I could tell her...” he started, but didn’t bother when he saw my expression.  “Oh, alright.  She’ll be here at five.”

 Madison had been politely waiting for a break in our conversation.  “Mommy, can we take Mariah to the park?”

 “Is there a park around here?” Jay asked.

 “Just around the corner...  I have to start dinner though.”

 “Would you have time if I helped when we got back?”

 “Maybe...”

 “Let’s go, Mommy!  Please?”

 “Just a half hour,” Jay added.

 I felt like it was two children begging me to go for a moment, and laughed.  Three actually, when I counted Mariah’s intense stare as begging.  “Half an hour,” I sighed happily.  I really wanted to go, myself.

----

 “You weren’t kidding when you said around the corner,” Jay said when we reached the park on the other side of my block.

 “You didn’t know this was here?”

 “How would I?”

 “Oh, I forget you’re not from around here.”

 “Does Mariah have to stay on her leash, Jay?” Madison asked.

 “Oh, not really,” he said, and knelt to release his dog.  The very second she was free she took off, then looked back to see what was taking us so long.  Madison screamed her delight and ran after her.  “Madison, wait!” Jay called.  He held up the frisbee he’d grabbed from his car, attracting Mariah’s gaze like a magnet.

 “What’s that?” she asked when we caught up to them.

 “It’s a frisbee,” he said, drawing out the pronunciation to tease Mariah, who was as close to jumping up and down anxiously as a dog could get.  “Watch this.”  He flicked his wrist, and the frisbee sailed off.  Mariah took off after it.  After about thirty yards, it started to glide back to the ground.  Mariah caught it in her mouth with a carefully timed jump.

 “Wow!” Madison yelled in unabashed amazement.

 Mariah brought the disc back to Jay.  We walked further into the park, while Jay kept throwing the frisbee.  Madison watched in growing excitement, until she actually was jumping up and down.  “Can I try?” she asked finally.

 “What do you say?” I got in before Jay could agree.

 “Please?”

 “Here you go,” he said, and handed it to her.

 “Eww,” she said.

 Jay laughed.  “It’s all slimy, isn’t it?”

 Madison, holding the frisbee with her thumb and forefinger, tried throwing it.  It went about four feet straight up, and came straight down.  Mariah darted in to grab it as she was reaching for it, and tried giving it to Jay.  “No, puppy,” he said.  “Give it to Madison.”

 I laughed when Mariah only nodded her head, shaking the frisbee at him.  Madison approached, and Jay told her she could take it.  I worried for a second, knowing how some dogs were about their toys, but she released it the instant Madison had it in her grasp.  “It’s alright, sweetie.  Just keep trying.”

 Jay gave her some pointers, and got her to at least throw the frisbee away, rather than up.  We sat in the grass next to each other to watch.  After awhile he said out of nowhere, “This feels right.”  With a happy sigh he laid back, stretching his arms over his head.

 He kept sort of slowly shrugging his shoulders, and I realized he was enjoying the feel of the grass on his arms.  I had a pang, wishing I could let go like that.  I was always too self-conscious.  Oh, what the hell.  I laid back next to him, with my arms at my sides.  I ran my hands through the grass, and the feeling took me back to my childhood.  It had been a long time since I had done that, probably not since high school.  I remembered the same thought occurring to me back then.  Why don’t I do this more often?  “What do you mean, it feels right?” I asked after some reflection.

 “Being out, like this.  Being here with the two of you.  I feel like I’m finally doing something, after months of being miserable and holed up in that apartment.  It feels like I’m getting my first breath of fresh air in...  Forget it, who knows?  I guess I’m trying to say...  So far, I’m really glad I moved in.”

 “So are we,” I said, rolling up on my side to look at him.  “Even though I hardly see you, I was actually thinking the other day how different it feels just having you there.”

 He folded his hands behind his head, and looked at me.  “It feels different?”

 I nodded.  “I don’t know how to explain it.  You just have this calming presence, and it’s like I feel it even when you’re not there.  Maybe it’s that I know you’ll be coming home.  Maybe the difference I feel is that I’m not as alone as I was.  It’s nice to have a friend in the house...”  I stopped myself before I got carried away.

 Jay rolled onto his side to look at me.  The motion brought him very close to me.  My first instinct was to back up and give him more space, but I quickly realized the closeness was comfortable to me.  I was glad when he didn’t move back either.  “I’ve felt the same, actually.  I can’t tell you what it was like the first day it became really clear to me that I don’t have to dread going home anymore.”  He laughed and added, “I’m not just saying I’ll take you over living above a crackhead.  I really like being around you too, is what I’m getting at.”

 “Too bad you’re working almost every minute I’m home, and awake.”

 “It is too bad, but there’s a lot to be said for stolen moments like this.”

 “Stolen?”

 He shook his head with a smile.  “That’s just me being used to being miserable.  Now I almost feel guilty when I’m not, I guess.  I didn’t mean stolen so much as special, really.  So, we can’t do this every day.  We’re here now, and that’s all that matters.”

 “I’ll agree to that,” I said.

 We fell silent, and wound up sitting up again.  Our conversation went to dinner.  Jay said he wanted to help out with the groceries if I was going to be feeding him.  I convinced him not to worry about that, ever.  “You’re paying me so much more than I was going to ask,” I said.  “Will you please just let me treat you to a hot meal on those rare occasions we’re actually home the same night?”

 I think he saw how badly I wanted him to consent, and that that was his only reason for doing so.  We talked about sharing other common expenses such as paper towels and cleaning supplies, and other boring things, until Madison approached us out of breath.

 Mariah came up behind her, barely holding the frisbee in her mouth she was panting so hard.  “Ready to go, kiddo?” I asked.  Jay and I stood.

 Madison could only nod, and seeing the effort it took her to do even that made me laugh.  “Want to see something funny first?” Jay asked.  Met only with an expectant look he said, “Mariah, give.”  She dropped the frisbee at his feet.  “Come on, give,” he repeated, beckoning with his hand.  Mariah not only picked it up and handed it to him, but managed to look annoyed.  “Okay, watch close.”  He flung the frisbee, and a spiral of dog spit flew away from it in all directions.

 “Eww!” Madison said, wiping off a gob that had landed on her arm.

 Jay laughed.  “Oh, I’m sorry Madison.  Did you see it though?  How it sparkles in the sunshine...”

 He was trying to make it sound pretty even as Madison was still scowling at him, and I laughed hard.  “Tell Jay that’s gross, Maddie.”

 “It is gross.”

 “Oh, we’ll wash our hands.  Did you have fun?”

 Her smile returned with a nod.

 “Want to know what makes that spit thing even funnier?  To me, anyway,” he said as we started walking back.

 “I don’t know...” I said, smiling.  I’m enjoying your voice, though.  “What?”

 “Any naturally occurring spiral has the same ratio.  Those uh, spit tendrils?  They’re the same shape as our own milky way galaxy, or a nautilus shell.”

 “I don’t know if that’s as funny as the fact that that would even occur to you,” I laughed.  Jay’s returned smile was very rewarding.  This does feel right...

Reviews

[Sarah]

God damn it! I thought they were going to kiss or something when they were laying so close to each other on the grass! Ahhhh, you're literally killing me. The suspense of this all is just too much. They need to just kiss already!

I guess they couldn't there with Madison in the picture, but I totally saw it happening. Anyways, I liked this chapter. I think about the phone call, Jay must've have sounded extremely giddy, and Beth must think that he likes Laura, which I'm finally starting to think he does.

But seriously, if they don't hook up very soon, I'm going to get really frustrated!!

[Christopher Miller]

It's a fine line I tried to walk, so I appreciate knowing how their progress is making you feel. That was exactly what Beth was thinking, and she was amused how Jay doesn't have a clue how obvious his attraction is. His thoughts and behavior are fully explained later.