Chapter Four

 A week later, I had still kept putting everything off.  If I was at work, driving, or in bed falling asleep, I was telling myself I would get to it the very next chance I got.  When I did get a chance, I figured I’d better do some more research first, just as soon as I finished with the other five things I thought of suddenly.

 I was still thinking about it during a busy lunch hour at work.  We were so busy, I was helping out in the adjacent food court as well as working in the deli.  My eyes were drawn to someone in the milling crowd, and after a moment I recognized Jay.  My stomach filled with butterflies.  He had left more of an impression on me than I realized...

 “Manny,” I said to my friend who was also helping at the food court counter, “If that guy comes over here, will you let me get him?”

 “Laura!” he exclaimed playfully.  “Did you finally ditch that loser and get a boyfriend?  He’s cute, good for you!”

 I rolled my eyes.  “Manny, if he was my boyfriend I’d be in his arms right now.  He took my daughter’s x-ray the other day, I’d like to thank him.”

 “Maybe you can thank him by getting in his arms,” he teased.  “Okay, okay,” he said when I gave him an exasperated look.  It wasn’t anything I minded.  Manny and Sara were both still rooting for me to meet my prince charming, and even though I’d pretty much given up, their concern was very touching.  “Well, since he’s not your boyfriend, it is now your job to find out what team he plays on,” he added before leaving me to observe Jay’s motions.

 I was happy to see him slowly wandering toward the counter.  He looked exhausted, even worse than before.  “Hi, can I order a sub?” he asked when he finally reached me.  He didn’t look at me.

 “You still look tired,” I said.

 That snapped him out of his daze.  “Oh, hey!  Laura, right?”  He was smiling, suddenly.

 I couldn’t help beaming.  He did remember my name.  I nodded.  “How are you?”

 “Eh.”  He waved his hand.  “I should be home sleeping, but here I am taking your advice.”

 “My advice?”

 “You told me to find a new place, remember?  Not that I’d be sleeping at home, anyway.  I don’t know what those chuckleheads are up to down there but...”  Hearing him say ‘chuckleheads’ made me giggle just as much as the amount of derision he had managed to pack into it.  He trailed off as he laughed with me.  “Ah, forget them.  How’s your daughter?”

 “No pneumonia.”  With a mischievous grin I added, “But you already knew that, didn’t you?”

 “I suspected...  It really does take a doctor to tell for sure, though.  Two years of school versus twelve.  Oh, I’m supposed to be ordering a sandwich, aren’t I?”

 He started looking at the menu.  “Just tell me what you want on it, I’ll ring you up for a veggie,” I offered.

 “Really...  Thanks!”  It sounded like that small favor made his day.  I know his smile sure made mine.  I made him an enormous sub, making sure to evenly distribute all the ingredients he asked for.

 I rang him up and there we were, about to part ways again.  I wanted to ask him so badly if he would ever want to see me.  When I opened my mouth, all that came out was a reluctant, “Well, good luck.”

 He didn’t seem to be in a hurry to end the conversation either, at least.  “That’s about all I have, isn’t it?” he said, after a quick look to make sure no one was behind him.  “How am I supposed to know my new place is any quieter?  No one was home when I looked at where I’m staying now.  I could end up in the exact same position.”  Wheels started turning in my mind.  I said nothing, so he continued.  “You’re right with what you said, though.  I know I can’t stay where I am.  What else is left, but to gamble?”

 “Are you doing anything right now?” I blurted out.  Jay looked at me quizzically as I rapidly started blushing.  I took a deep breath.  I had broached the subject, at least in my own mind.  The worst was over.  “I have a break coming up and I...  There’s something...” I faltered.

 “I can hang out for awhile,” he said, intrigued.  I wondered what he was thinking.

 I nodded toward the cafe.  “Can I meet you there in a few minutes?”

 “I’ll be waiting.  Take your time, you still have an hour before I’m even halfway through this sandwich,” he laughed.

----

 I asked my manager Patty if I could take my lunch early.  She could tell it was important, so she personally traded times with me.  If only the front-end managers were so personable, I might actually enjoy my job.  I might even shop here...

 It only took me ten minutes or so to meet him, but he already had half his sub devoured, the rest wrapped for later.  “I’m sorry, you’re not in a hurry, are you?” I asked as I joined him by the window.  He’s a window watcher, like me.

 “What?”  He looked down.  “Oh, not at all, I’m just used to bolting my food.  Have to eat when you can, on my shift.”

 “I can understand that,” I said as I took the seat across from him.  “We get fifteen minutes, and it takes half of that to walk to the time clock and back.”

 “Well, what’s on your mind?” he asked just in time to avoid an awkward silence.

 “I don’t know where to begin, or how exactly to come out with it,” I said.

 “I’m a horrible guesser.”

 I blew a breath out.  “Alright, here it goes...”  Just as I was opening my mouth, I remembered how I’d let Earl into my life too quickly.  How did I know I wasn’t about to make the same mistake?

 “Was that it?” Jay asked with an amused smile, and I realized I’d fallen silent again.

 “Sorry, it’s hard to talk about.  I was talking on the phone with my sister about a week ago...  She’s been trying to convince me to rent out a room in my house.  I’m on the brink of losing it, if I don’t.”

 “What’s hard to talk about?  Are you embarrassed?”

 Only about how I got into this mess to begin with.  “No.”

 Understanding came into his expression.  “Are you...  Offering me the room?”

 “No.  Well, maybe.”  I put my hands to my face, and blushed again.  “Can I start over?”

 “Of course...” he said, and I found his voice encouraging.

 I put my hands on the table again, a little closer to where his were resting.  “I can’t say I’m offering the room, yet.  I would like to show it to you.  Only, the reality of losing my house is sinking in more slowly than it should.  I haven’t advertised the room, I haven’t gotten it ready, I haven’t done anything.  Actually, it’s not even picked...  But do you think you’d be interested?”

 He didn’t take long to say, “I would.”  He added, “I have a dog, though.  That’s part of why I’m having trouble finding a place.”

 “Is it a good dog?”

 “She’s eight years old, housebroken, and a complete sweetheart.  And she loves kids.”

 “Then it’s okay.”

 “Well, I would love to take a look...  What was so hard about that?”

 I thought about how best to put it.  “If I was looking for a place, and a guy I just met suddenly announced he had a room for rent, even though there was no sign he planned to rent previously...”

 “Ah.”

 “I’m also still not too keen on renting at all, to be honest...”

 “Can I ask you a question?”  I nodded.  “Why are you asking me, then?  Why not just advertise?”

 “I’m pretty much in the same position as you, when it comes to neighbors.  All I’ll have to go on is my first impression.  I could agree to rent to a young woman who seems perfectly nice, and find out she likes to have a different rowdy guy over every night.  I’m inviting a stranger into my home, where I live with my daughter.”

 “Okay, but still...  Why me?  You don’t know me either.”

 I managed to prevent yet another blushing with a few deep breaths.  “I’ve been proven a terrible judge of character in the past.  Still, I...  I get a good feeling from you.  I saw you hit your bottom, then start laughing the second my daughter threw up on you.  You feel safe, I guess.  And Maddie seemed to like you.  She rarely speaks to people she doesn’t know, let alone when she’s sick.”

 Jay looked out the window, deep in thought.  “I would like to take a look,” he said finally.  “What do you propose?”

 I started to say he could come over anytime, if he called first.  Then an idea came that I liked better.  “Would you like to come over for dinner?”

 “I work evenings,” he reminded me.  “Ugh, I’m still working at three today,” he reminded himself.

 Hearing the dread and fatigue in his voice made me wish there was something I could do for him right then.  Well, he doesn’t want a kiss, forget it.  “Your next day off?”

 “That would be Wednesday.  Works for me.”

 “Here.”  I drew him directions on the corner of his sub wrapper, and included my phone number.  “Just in case you need it.”

----

 I was fairly bursting with excitement to call Sara that night.  I picked Madison up from the neighbor’s, whose thirteen year old daughter Julianne watched her after school until I got home.  After paying Julianne for the coming week, I hurried Madison home.

 I put a movie on for her, and I called my sister.  “What’s going on?  You sound excited,” Sara said after we greeted each other.

 “I ran into Jay again.  He’s the man who took Madison’s x-ray.”

 “I remember.  Did you give him your number this time?”

 “Well...  Yes...”  I felt a lump in my throat, wondering how she’d react as to why I gave him my number.

 I heard Sara sigh playfully.  “Except?”

 “He’s coming over for dinner on Wednesday.”  There was nothing but silence as Sara waited for me to finish.  “To see about renting a room or two.”

 “Laura, Laura, Laura...” Sara scolded.  “I thought you were interested in having him as a boyfriend, not a tenant!  Please tell me you’re not planning on him being both, already.”

 My fingers came to my forehead to still my mind against all the thoughts that had been swimming around in it since I’d invited Jay over.  “I’m getting final notices from the bank, Sara.  This month I thought I was finally going to make a payment, but it went to electricity and Maddie’s doctor.  I’d love to have someone in my life, but having a roof over Maddie’s head comes first.  It just came up as we were talking.  He was actually out looking at places.  When he mentioned being nervous about his new neighbors being as bad as his current ones, it reminded me of my own fears about renting.  He seems nice, and quiet, and I think he’s safe.  So I brought it up.”

 “Well if he does take it, it’ll save you a lot of time as far as the hunt goes.”

 “Besides...  I think he’s out of my league anyway.”

 “Laura, you were making so much sense just a second ago.  Why would you have to throw in something like that?”

 “Look at me...” I said.

 “I’m not going to get into that with you right now,” Sara said.  “You have him coming over as a prospective tenant.  Keep it at that, then.  You don’t want to move too fast.  Again.  I hope...”

 I smiled, thankful for my sister.  “I’m not interested in anything but keeping my house, right now.”  It felt like a lie when I heard myself say it.  “What should I do about Maddie?  Would you mind taking her for the night Wednesday?”

 Sara thought for a minute before answering.  “I could, and I’d be happy to, but I think you should keep her there.  For two reasons.  First, she does live with you.  It’s in yours and Jay’s best interests for him to get as accurate a picture as possible of where he’d be living.  Second, she doesn’t have your tendency to melt at every soft glance from a man.  She may be five, but she’s one of the best judges of character I’ve ever met.  She was right about Gary, and Jeremy.”  The two failed attempts at relationships I’d had since she was born.

 “You’re right.  Well, I’ve got tonight and tomorrow to get the place ready.  I’ll go get started.”

 “Good luck.”

 “Thanks, Sara.”

----

 I did some cleaning, and thinking.  As small as the rooms were, I knew Jay would need more than one.  Madison had the ones upstairs as a bedroom and playroom.  I had the ones downstairs for my room and an office that doubled as a guest room.

 “Why are you cleaning, Mommy?” Madison asked from the bathroom doorway as I was scrubbing the tub.  Her movie must have ended.

 I wiped my brow and sat up, giving my knees a break.  “Honey, do you remember the nice man who did your x-ray last week?”  Madison nodded.  “He’s coming over for dinner the day after tomorrow.”

 Her eyes lit up, and her smile was contagious.  “Yay!”

 I laughed.  “Glad to hear that, huh?”

 “He is nice, Mommy!  Can we have the walrus biscuits?”

 She meant Waldron’s, and even though they came from a tube their buttery goodness made Madison think they were nothing less than a delicacy.  “I think we can do that.  What else should we have?”

 “Sketti!”

 “Spaghetti and the walrus biscuits.  I’ll make sure to tell him it was your idea.”

 “Okay, Mommy.  I’m gonna go play, ‘kay?”

 “Go ahead, sweetie.”  Madison went upstairs.  As I listened to her in her playroom, I wondered again what rooms to give Jay.  He’d want them together, so that basically put Madison and I together either upstairs, or down.  The upper rooms were smaller, and I was cramped in mine as it was...  As I listened to Madison’s feet thunder across the ceiling, I decided to offer Jay the upper floor.  He’d have his own bathroom with a shower, two rooms, and no little girl feet waking him up as he tried to sleep.

 I thought of how Madison would react to the thought of giving up her rooms, and decided to wait until after the dinner to broach the subject.  After all, I hadn’t even made Jay an offer yet, he was just having a look.  Perhaps he’d already found something, anyway.

Reviews

[Jennie Lynn]

The first words out of Manny's mouth and I thought he was gay. But the portrayal isn't stereotypical at all, just realistic and well done.

The conversations are back to feeling more natural, well except the expected awkwardness in her offering him the room. If this is single first person POV I would suggest trying to find ways to get Jay across better. His feelings, motivations, etc. He's not really a character yet to me, he's just kind of there driving the female MC along.

Just out of curiosity is Walden a type canned biscuit like Pillsbury?

I'm having some trouble with Laura, but please don't take it personally. It's just my opinion. She seems a little (just a little) selfish and childish. The "prince charming" dream made sense when she was younger and still actually makes sense now. I can relate to her keeping her dream of being a wife and mother, of the happily ever after. Not every woman needs to dream of a career no matter what women's lib says. But at the same that dream should be tempered by her daughter. It's clear she still has poor taste in men given what her sister and own daughter said about the men she dates and obviously she brings them around her daughter. She had me at the line, I'm doing this all for Maddie but lost me when she said it felt like a lie. There's two stories here for me: Does she need a man to make her feel worth anything or does she want a man to add more happiness to her life. The latter is good, the former bad, and I just can't decide which one she falls into yet.

[Christopher Miller]

I don't take it personal at all, your honesty about what the story makes you feel is incredibly valuable to me and I appreciate it.
I might be happy with what you said about Jay not being a character yet. In Laura's mind, he can't be anything but a distant possibility at this point, because of her current lack of self-esteem (the reason for that is expanded on later). I would like you to tell me if your perception changes after they have their first heart-to-heart. He does open up later.
I did invent Waldron's as a brand name. As well as Women's Roar; I had to go through I think 4 different 'made up' magazine names before I got one that doesn't exist in real life! And the ex's car was Chimera, before I found out that's a real car.
On your last comment, I would like to ask if that's any clearer by the end of the next chapter. I am certainly going for her wanting a man to add to her happiness. I do want that to be perfectly clear, even if it isn't clear right now. It's imperative, actually. When I wrote that her interest being solely in the house, I was trying to convey that she couldn't fully deny to herself that she had at least some interest in Jay. I may rework that.

[Sarah]

Laura's character seems so hard on herself and it's easy to relate to, yet I wish she wouldn't be. It's hard reading about her talk so negatively about herself and her need for a man in her life. I really liked the line where she said she was doing this all for Maddie, yet it felt like a lie to her. Really truthful as I could see it as well. As much as she wants Jay, she feels as though she can't have him. I'm not sure what either of them expect from one another romantically since they are living together, but I'm curious as to what will happen. I still don't really seem much interest coming from Jay. He hasn't made a move, and he just comes across as nice to me. I'm eager to see if that will change in the coming chapters.