The Cast for the Outsider

The Cast for the Outsider

09-24-20

Reckless Rambles

Draft 1

By: Chase L. Currie

 

"If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first."

-          John 15:18 (NIV)

 

"There are many things that I believe that I shall never say. But I shall never say the things that I do not believe." -Immanuel Kant

 

In the world, but not of it …

 

"They would call me Jesus freak," the young lady said, sitting in white and black at the Bible study I happen to stumble into this Sunday evening. I felt oddly comfortable among these unknown faces, where I didn't get many names. It could have come from the hours I spend locked away in my study working on foolishness ideas about the world and silly stories about made-up worlds, and I was in need of company. It could have come to the fact, all these people around me shared the same faith and beliefs as I do, which had been a rare event in my days as of late.

                "It was hard when I was younger," the dame with a killer a smile said. "Now, not so much. Now, I welcome it."

                Jesus freak.

                This short tale of a life I'll never know left me thinking about a subject I have been rolling around in my mind for a bit. Like clay, most of my ideas must be softened in my skull before I can start to work with them. Sometimes, most of the time, I go on a long walk thinking about how to build the idea. Other times, I go to a dead-end job where I can think for hours while moving. This time the clay was being softened sitting in a chair listening to someone talk about hardships.

                A good thing for me, I'm sure of it, because it has led me here writing to you, my cool cat reader.

                I sat back, listening to every word I could roll out of the lips of these lovely people, trying my best to stay hook on them. I wanted to gather them all up to keep with me like I do when I talk to anyone. I want to listen, but most of all, I want to hear. Some of these words dashing into the bucket in my hands I will keep for myself, sweet little things only I get to enjoy. In other words, tales or stories, if we must call them something, I will share with you and the world.

                But the clay started to soften, molded into the idea, and now being baked was something I had spoken a lot with my best friend on long walks. He sat beside me in this house, filled with the endless bouquet of fresh-baked cookies. Nothing makes a place feel more like home then homemade cookies if you ask me.

                We left the house with a few cookies in hand, and I sat with these ideas on the way back home.

                I recalled many times on my walks with my friend saying, "I don't understand these people who want to be on the inside of the world or culture. I mean, I know it might have been the way I grew up, which has left me here, but I don't get it. And worse, far worse, they want me to agree with them. They want to force me to agree with them. I don't get it. Be yourself, be an outsider."

                In the world, but not of it …

                My statement above leaves a little wanting, I fear. There should be many questions rolling around in your head. How did he grow up? What does he mean by the inside? What does he mean by the outside? How come he didn't share any of those cookies?

                I grew up in a family of outsiders who ran around with other odd folks of life.

When I was a wee little lad, my school didn't know how to help me with my reading problem. The problem being I couldn't do it at that time in my life. The school would pull me out of my classes, send me to a person who would help me learn how to read poorly. And then I would stroll back to class, unsure what was going on with everyone else.

                The kids didn't understand why I got pulled out all the time.

                I didn't understand there inside jokes.

                So, I became an oddball, not one of the cool kids. It hurt only for a bit.

                After a while, I was sent to another school with kids who were like myself. We were the outsiders of the 'normal school' which forced us to become close with each other. A small school of freaks and ghouls chilling with the oddballs was heaven to me. Some of those friends I still have to this day.

                But all of my friends at this school were pulled from all over the city, and when we went back to our old friends, we were out of the loop. I soon, along with all my friends, learn how not to care. The cool kids had their jokes, which tend to be making fun of us. We had our jokes, which was making fun of them.

                In the world, but not of it …

                Hight school, I fear, was no different for me. I was tossed back into 'normal school' among normal people. I started to hang out with all the people on the edges, the goths, the Punks, the Alphabet Community, the freaks, and ghouls.

                Even among these groups, I found myself being an outsider. I happen to be the only person who believes in the Holy Bible and the Good News in these groups. I have always been a believer, a sort of knowledge of God, but I haven't always had the faith. That, my cool cat reader, is a story for another time, but all we need to know now, is this faith or knowledge, keep me on the outside of the outer circles.

                And yet, I didn't see a problem with this. I enjoyed it. I got to look in on the groups, the freaks, the cool kids, the people not with me, see the endless hypocrisy of it all. They hated each other for being in the other groups. They wanted to be in each other's group but had walled themselves in by choosing their camps. Sad, sad, fact of their lives.

I merely strolled between them all.

                Maybe, I should dig into what I mean by the inside. I would say it has many meanings, which I may not get to all of them now. First, the inside is whatever is the Zeitgeist of the culture. Nerds are in right now. Football players not so much unless you are in Texas.

Another Zeitgeist could be the philosophical whims of our New Age. Truth is subjective. The system is corrupted. All hope is gone, and white people have an endless amount of privilege while the others should pick themselves up by the bootstrap carry on.

                The great slogans for the masses with no through behind them.

                Better yet, you are black or white or green, and therefore, you are trapped within that group based merely off your skin color. The world, the system, people shall judge base on your skin, not who you are.

How about, you are a Republican or Democrat, team chosen, and now, we get to play the game. Trapped within those teams. The enemy always on the other side.

                The inside can be a community, a team, a group, or even a philosophical belief.

In the world, but not of it …

                However, I am not saying always being on the inside is bad nor wrong. It would be best to have a team or community build around you for comfort and safety, mostly a family. The problem arose when the teams turned to the outsiders, hiss, and roar that they are not bending the knee to them.

                Here before we go farther, let me point out some good insiders, family, church, sports teams, country, and shared philosophical belief. The danger is turning only within these groups to keep everyone on the outside or force them to believe the same thing.

                I can't entirely agree with alternative pronouns. I think they are silly tools to be used in a foolish ideology. I will not use them. I shall not use them, and the more people try to shame for my stance, the more they prove my point. I am an outsider among the idea of the alternative pronouns.

                The problem isn't my stance; the problem is people trying to force me to agree with them.

                The question coming up is, what is an outsider? I would say merely a person who doesn't mind questioning the group they are within. An outsider can sit there and say, I'm not sure this right. I'm not sure we should do this. Why are we doing this? What does the other side have to say? And if the group turns on them, then they can walk away.

                An outsider has first principles that guide their lives, and they will not bend on those principles. It is someone who looks in on groups pointing out the hypocrisy of their stances.

                You must respect everyone; that is the point of using their alternative pronouns.

                I do not agree with alternative pronouns.

                Therefore, I don't have to respect you.

                Hm, hypocrisy, tastes like a fine wine.

                An outsider is someone who is always questioning the movements of the masses. They are not sure anyone should blindly follow into the future with these movements is wise. An outsider wants to step back, judge all that is being said about the subject, before agreeing with it. They want to make sure they are …

In the world, but not of it.

Again, I would like to put on that always being the outsider is not a good thing. You need a group of people's trusts, believes and wants the best for you. That might mean they have to point out the hypocrisy of your actions. But a group is needed, even if it is built of oddballs.

"They called me Jesus freak," she said. "Now, I welcome it."

 

With a tip of the hat,

Chase