Summer Challenge

Had to write a poem for school on nature. I am not completely disappointed in it.

Summer Challenge

The bark scratches at my back,

miniscule nails giving a burning massage.

The earth I left beneath me, scorching

in the sun.

Creating it’s own unique scent to 

add to the smell of sunlight.

I sit there and feel the heat 

like an overcrowded car,

making little beads sweat

gather and trickle

tickle

down my neck.

My hair curls even tighter

in paroxysms of joy at the moisture.

All the while, I sit and look,

past the glare, at the pool,

testing myself to see how much longer I can stay

beneath this green canopy,

my own all natural dumpling steamer,

before I throw myself forth

and sink into a different world of cool ripples

and chlorine, 

only to emerge again later,

covered in the aroma of summer.

Author's Note

Not super experienced with poetry so I'll take constructive criticisms but please be nice. I've never really shown my stuff to anyone before. Be honest. Just not vindictive please. I want to improve not lose hope...

Reviews

[KeeD]

"My hair curls even tighter
in paroxysms of joy at the moisture."

Your thought process is excellent thus creating really natural flow.. loved it.
This was refreshing beautiful and it felt complex yet natural.. just exactly how nature feels to us sometimes.. there's beauty in complexity. Great write.

[CJMarie]

Thank you!

[Coyote Poetry]

Strong description in the poem. I like the usage of the language. Making each action come alive. I like the desire to swim in the pool. A hot day under the protection of the canopy would leave you desiring a cool swim to bring peace to the body. Thank you for sharing the excellent poem.
Coyote

[CJMarie]

Thank you! The point of the assignment was the imagery. It was alot of fun trying to come at things a little sideways, descriptions instead of statements. Usually I understate things.