Choose

What do you want to be when you grow up
They asked me
I want to be a doctor, get paid very well, intelligent, good house, family, believe in facts nothing make believe
I want to be a firefighter, strong, brave, lifesaver, fast and quick, but nothing prepared me for the saddening things, I have to keep it together, keep emotions hidden
I want to be a psychologist, I'm a good listener, want to help you see the repetitive things you do that in the end are ruining you. I dont go out, I'm always sticking to the plan, dont want to end up psycho living on the streets
I want to be a bum, talking to myself, asking for money,debt free, sleeping, asking myself life questions, but still something inside says keep living this way, it's better than going back to how it use to be
You ask me to choose, but by choosing I'm also losing, if I choose I am one thing, I am seen as the doctor, as strong, sympathetic, crazy, I dont just have one side, sometimes I'm all of these things, and sometimes I'm nothing. Why do I have to choose. If i was allowed to just be me, which can fluctuate at any given time, than we would be free