Interracial Dating- Big Deal or No Deal

How do you view the current state of interracial dating?

Interracial Dating

What’s more likely- Black men with White women or White men with Black women

First let’s recall decades ago it was extremely rare to see mixed couples. During the 50’s and 60’s this was in rare form as black power movements caught steam and interracial dating was more of a private affair. Societal pressure and segregation laws placed a blurry vision on interracial dating which made it less popular. To say the least, white people and black people simply didn’t mingle. These days, it’s far less common and a lot more acceptable. Now I won’t dance around the issue here; and frankly a lot of the issues that stem around interracial dating are good old fashioned sexism with an ugly icing of racism. Dating back to slavery well into the 1950’s remain the unfavorable image of white men and black women, especially when it was a known fact of how black women were raped and blatantly mistreated by the white people. Not to say that we still live in those times, but black women were forced to develop as strong women. That trend has continued to this day and their independent demeanor has made many black women less feminine than other racial groups. White men on the other hand are stereotyped as being less masculine than black men, which becomes a double negative when dealing with black women. White men simply don’t want to get burned by an overbearing woman �" so in many cases, not all, the white men avoid most black woman all together. When it comes to black men dating white women it’s an entirely different story. Black people are considered strong, tough, athletic, and if you throw some intelligence in there you have a well suited black man. These physical and mental traits become very attractive to women, but especially white women. Although on a whole, as men advance upward in society �" white or black �" they tend to want trophy wives, and most trophy wives are invariably white. Men are already strongly encouraged to see women as equivalent to the cars they like to show off. And (white) trophy wives are the sport cars that illustrate they’ve made it. This leaves black women with a “Not good enough position” once men reach a certain status. Most guys, especially blacks tend to ditch the black girl the minute he gets a good paying job. This behavior is sexist and insulting to all women everywhere �" to white women who are viewed as arm candy, and to black women who are viewed as not good enough for the highly successful man. I am fully aware that there are men who are capable of seeing women simply as human beings with whom they are in love, and love crosses all ethnic boundaries. No way am I saying that white men/women can’t love black men/women. I’m talking about broad tendencies and social realities, which is rarely a happy thing to contemplate.

This is how it looks

“Moving up” = “trophy wife” = “white woman”

Most black women who have great relational skills, tenderness and compassion to love fall victim to negative stereotypes of harsh traits. The traits of being loud, obnoxious, defensive, less submissive, and in some cases labeled “crazy”, usually come with warning signs. Therefore moving up the corporate ladder of pampered wife material becomes more difficult when measured against well groomed women of other races. In conclusion, interracial dating is here, it’s real and granted a large part is due to the workplace and gender, with a sprinkle of historical racism, but here’s a broad analysis of what has become the norm.

Black men with white females may be more common, but white men with black females is typically more accepted.

Thanks for reading,

Historian Derrick Caples

Reviews

[Andre Waters II]

All this makes really good stand points for interracial dating, I have dated outside my race, and don't mind dating outside it regardless of the judgment that may follow it, but I've been noticing that it becomes harder to be an interracial couple in today's society for the simple fact that racism has made a larger resurgence. Many choose to ignore the criticism and that is okay, but at what point will it become acceptable to be interracial through all races, not just black and white. My whole point in all of it is that there's more than the two main races im the midst of it all, and it can't be narrowed down to just black and white. All in all though, this is a great opening of the topic.

[CEOCaples]

Thanks for your constructive review, your opinion is respected and clearly thoughtful...

[KTizzle]

Racism has always been around. There is no resurgence, but I do agree I think it would be interesting to see interracial dating from other races as well.

[Andre Waters II]

This i know, but if you noticed, it's been carried out largely like apart of the mainstream media. It has found its way into places that nobody would expect it to. So yes though it's always been around, it is resurgent to a point where it was before.

[KTizzle]

Found its way into places that nobody would expect it to? Where exactly? Mainstream media has always been manipulated for racial discrimination. Perhaps it is less subtle...even then I don't think so.

[Andre Waters II]

I cannot disagree, but the social media has been giving it the attention to draw everyone into it. That is what I trying to say by mainstream.

[KTizzle]

Yeah Social Media has a way of giving biased information.

[D Connolly]

I have such mixed feelings about this writing. I understand that it's an incredibly simplified overview of an issue that has historically been one of those things we don't talk about, and that you're really just trying to start a conversation (maybe??). However, BECAUSE it has been hushed up for so long, my opinion is that a more thorough examination is needed for something like this to be published. There are so many parts that are generalized and sexist and racist as well; limiting the interracial couples to black and white, assuming that white men are less masculine than black men and black women are more strong willed than white women because they had to be, and the assumption that black men only date white women because they're looking for a trophy wife... I mean, this is really an over exaggerated speculation!
That being said, there are historical and even current manifestations of this type of blatant racism that would assist in drawing this conclusion, however, I don't think your article did any justice to the topic. I really think that for a conversation to be started, this article needs to be significantly broadened.
Perhaps this could be a starting point, a rough draft for a much more inclusive piece. I would like to read it, should you decide to work on something like that.
Dani

[CEOCaples]

Thank you, you make valid points, I will consider a follow up

[barleygirl]

I can't decide how to respond. On one hand, there are too many generalities & assumptions, so I can't decide whether to weigh in on each or just write this whole thing off as "your opinion."

I grew up when interracial dating was horrifying (you've grossly understated the intensity of how impossible it was back then). When I saw your title, I was surprised becuz I feel interracial bias concerning mixed relationships is minimal now, compared to the old days. But I do agree that much bias remains. I think bias is more profound in many other ways, however, not so much being directed toward interracial relationships.

Your stereotyping is a little offensive to me -- even tho you seem to be trying to explain without taking a stand either way, your opinion piece comes across to me as still continuing to further so many ridiculous stereotypes. Many of these deplorable actions (like rape) & attitudes (like arm candy) are not specific to interracial relationships. This s**t happens to everyone, regardless of background.

What I like the least about this piece is the way you seem to suggest there are only two races -- black & white. This is very unreal & weird in today's world with so much intermixing between hundreds of countries. I guess I'm just not convinced by your arguments that this is a well-defined problem . . . the view seems quite limited from my vantage point. But I like that you have the courage to try to convey your observations.

[CEOCaples]

Thanks for your critique, I have to say you're correct that it comes from a limited viewpoint, from living in South Mississippi this is usually what I see. Again thanks and be sure to check out and critique my other writings as well.

[barleygirl]

Maybe that's what needs to said then, that this is the view from the deep south . . . this would help to put your observations in context. Just an idea.

[CEOCaples]

Thanks for the idea, I'll utilize

[Not Active]

I like that you're using writing to get to people. Unfortunately there are a lot of racist and sexist bigoted chauvinists out there. Please don't forget that there are more races than just black and white that also matter and need attention. I really enjoyed reading this and personally don't think race or gender matter. The only thing that matters to me when looking for someone to be in a relationship with is if the person is a good person. We are all humans and we all deserve to be treated equal. Skin color doesn't matter, we all bleed red.

[CEOCaples]

Thanks, it's obvious to you that race is no big deal...

[Not Active]

Race is only what we make it to be. :)

[KTizzle]

I think this does a good job of giving an overview of this issue so much so I wish it were expanded. I wanted statistics and a mentioning of how the media also has their hand in shaping interracial dating. I wanted more about how black men are brought up in the world because I think that's pretty significant. How they are brought up and from the roots of slavery, black men have been taught that masculinity=domination. That comes from white culture. Black women are not as submissive as white women. The media does a good job at portraying the ugly side of black women all the time. Even LifeTime Movie Network likes to portray black women that way too evident by them giving black people a reality TV show instead of a movie that has the same qualities a white one has about feminine issues like rape, teen pregnancy, domestic violence. I feel like the issues of black women are skirted under the rug and they are given no breaks at all.

I would reword this just because, "That trend has continued to this day and their independent demeanor has made many black women less feminine than other racial groups." Being strong and independent doesn't make anyone less feminine.

"Black men with white females may be more common, but white men with black females is typically more accepted."

I don't think this is right. White men with black females is typically looked down upon moreso than the latter. It's another example of racism and sexism. If a black woman dates a white man, she is a traitor to her culture while black men with white women is becoming more acceptable and understandable due to all the stereotypes.

I think interracial dating is fine as long as the people are dating each other because they genuine love one another and not for their color.


Thought provoking write.

Thanks for sharing. Have a great day!

[CEOCaples]

Thanks for your constructive review, you made some solid points as well. I will several other writings to touch on the issues you mentioned, stay tooned

[Leroy Sinclair]

I only fornicate with other natives from Norway House, the only drawback to stickin' in your own small tribe is that if under too much fire water it is possible to have carnal relations with your cousin or aunt or sister if she had a new haircut, i'm not sayin' Leroy Sinclair had sex with his sister I'm saying Leroy Sinclair almost had sex with his sister, the cousin thing wasn't my fault it was bad medicine

[Not Active]

sir, there is seriously something wrong with you.

[Leroy Sinclair]

what in the heck are you talkin' about? My name is Leroy Sinclair and I'm just tryin' to be Leroy Sinclair the best I can be, if you think you can do a better job of being Leroy Sinclair how bout you come on up to Norway House and you can take your best shot cause I tell you what little boy bein' Leroy Sinclair ain't no flippin cakewalk let me tell ya, I'm already dealin with enough trouble with my cousin why do you have to judge me, Leroy Sinclair for things I do in my own tribe up here in Norway House? who do you think you are I tell you what I'm gonna go talk to my brothers at Norway House about goin on a warpath cause what you said was not right, it's not right to judge a simple native from Norway House you owe me and my brothers an apology

[Not Active]

This is a website for serious authors, not ten year olds who are bored. Either take this seriously or get off of the site. No one here is amused by what you're doing.

[Leroy Sinclair]

my brothers didn't die face down in the Manitoba dirt representing the free natives of Norway House to have some old man with a dirty haircut tellin me, Leroy Sinclair, what I can say on an interwebsite, I tell you what you gonna get a warpath comin' down from Norway House when my back gets better from when I fell off my roof fixin' my satellite dish,

[Leroy Sinclair]

I'm still waiting for my apology old man,

[Ashish]

Yeah! It's true about the dating you have mentioned..
It depend upon us entirely that how we take this issue.

In my country still there is racisim. Still people prefer white people whether it is about men or women.
All boys love white girls
All girls love white boys
I think , if so happen, then where will black men and women will go.


Btw..Thanks for throwing light on this.