The Begining

The Begining

A Chapter by CDoh
"

A generalised poem to portray some kind of description of where i originated

"

The Begining

 

A women lay exhausted

a single tear leaks down her face

she sighs and sinks into her skin

as im welcomed to this place

my eyes struggle to open

the lights the blind my sight

a man bends down and hugs me

he's stare torn betwen excitment and fright

im stolen from her loving arms

and washed untill im clean

i kick my legs and scream out loud

for her arms i am a fein

but she doesnt come to rescue

she just lays there in her bed

why did she let them take me,

and pour water on my head?

but eventually i am given back

to that man i met before

his arms are strong and warm like hers

so i retire and resort to snores.



© 2008 CDoh


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Reviews

Oh how I ache for the newborn...and still we do NOTHING!!! What a way to welcome an infant after such trauma. Realistic piece. Thank you for sharing.
~L

Posted 16 Years Ago


though there a few grammatical/spelling clean ups to be made, i love this ... such a unique and fresh perspective. if only all of our stresses in life could be calmed by one reassuring hug. could they ?? the ending is heartwarming. thanks for sharing this.

Posted 16 Years Ago


Oh to be a baby again, and live the life of blissful love! this is wonderful and I can feel a baby thinking all this and wodering what is going on but then, not worrying about it because mommy and daddy both feel good~ Excellent!

Posted 16 Years Ago


THIS IS SUCH A CUTE POEM! WRITING FROM A NEWBORN'S PERSPECTIVE IS UNIQUE AND YOU DID A VERY GOOD JOB. YOUR RHYME'S ARE GREAT! IT READS WELL AND THE TONE IS PERFECT. THE ONLY SUGGESTION I HAVE IS TO PROOF READ FOR SPELLING ERRORS. IT WAS A PLEASURE TO READ. BARBARA

Posted 16 Years Ago


haha what a cute poem. Something different. :) Thanks for sharing.

Posted 16 Years Ago


Ah, being born - I remember it well.

Found a typo the lights the (that) blind my sight

The last line might work better as so i retire and softly snore. It makes the rhyme work better.


Jeff


Posted 16 Years Ago



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Added on March 5, 2008
Last Updated on April 18, 2008


Author

CDoh
CDoh

Wollongong, Australia



About
Welcome to My"writers cafe". My own little spot on the internet. Im Craig Doherty but you may know me as CeeDee, Doc, Doherty, Hook, Nose or one of the other childish nicknames ive earned alo.. more..

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