Shelter in the Storm

"verbal abuse- the wounds are invisible, but the scars aren't"

In the wake of your storm

and those cruel words you sling about

I suffer wounds like paper cuts:

small, not too deep, but they bleed all the same

 

these words of yours, they aren't new

they've been heard before

spoken by a mother, a father, a past love

the feelings of worthlessness, of doubt, of hurt

the tear-stained pillows

this is all familiar territory

 

despite the dark clouds, I will shine

for you cannot change me

just as the ones before you could not

I will leave light behind in the children that  I raise

I teach them strength in kindness and unconditional love

honor in caring and the importance of believing in yourself-

This is my shelter in the storm

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[W.k.kortas]

I think the first two verses are very nice indeed. The third stanza is on solid ground as far as the idea goes, but it's more in-your-face and straight ahead than the first two stanzas, and I think being a little more indirect is the way to go here. I don't believe the final, all-caps stanza is necessary; by attracting attention with the caps, I think it detracts from the rest of the piece. There is a lot to like in this piece, and it could be something quite special with a bit of tweaking.

[Joseph - Michael]

That was pretty an unusual writing you got there. I mean, you've used that lines; "I suffer wounds like paper cuts: small, not too deep, but they bleed all the same" I really do agree with that, except the bleed part. It may be small, yet it hurt like hell, you know?

On the other hand, it's all still good though...

[James K. Blaylock]

This is truly beautiful! We have all -in some way- been wounded by hurtful words.

jkb

[Forest Green]

Wonderful response to a hurtful reality. In an effort to change the way we treat one another it is best to begin with us and the ones we can influence positively.

Very nice work.

Daniel

[Twisted Words (Tom)]

I applaud the meaning of this. Not falling. And not just hope, but a determined stance.

[Carole]

Verbal abuse is so common for so many. Words that cut like a knife to the very center of our beings...I have to admit I have been on both ends... slinging hurtful words and then words of affirmation and encouragement. There's no guilt incurred with the latter.


despite the dark clouds, I will shine

for you cannot change me

just as the ones before you could not

I will leave light behind in the children that I raise

I teach them strength in kindness and unconditional love

honor in caring and the importance of believing in yourself-

This is my shelter in the storm

(This part really spoke to my heart...) This is spoken with conviction and determination-and should be the cry of every parents heart. I enjoyed this, Carrie!

[Janyce Helen Van Es]

I can sure identify with this! Takes a lot of strength to keep from sinking to the other's level. Great poem, Carrie.

[blue2u]

I think this is really nice, because no matter what we have gone through as mothers we always strive for the best for our children. I think G-d gives them to us to prove his love and to help us weather the storm.

[poddar kushal]

the words are desperately beautiful.

[George Love]

A very determined attitude and stance shown here. Well expressed

[Yvonne Heidt]

Carrie - I absolutely love the strength that comes through this piece.

"I suffer wounds like paper cuts:
small, not too deep, but they bleed all the same..." BRILLIANT lines...

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