What Is It I Did Wrong?

What is it I did wrong,
To cause this silent fate?
What is it I did wrong,
To lose you at this rate?
What is it I did wrong,
To earn your thorough avoidance?
What is it I did wrong,
To deserve my heart's discordance?
What is it I did wrong,
To have you dissapear?
What is it I did wrong,
On this, our Ninth year?
What is it I did wrong,
To elicit not a care?
What is it I did wrong,
To be treated so unfair?
What is it I did wrong,
To fail in your election?
What is it I did wrong,
To receive such casual rejection?
What is it I did wrong,
To make my presence unknown?
What is it I did wrong,
To cause you to disown?
What is it I did wrong,
To be left with this hurt in the end?
What is it I did wrong,
To so suddenly lose my best friend?
What is it I did wrong,
What is it I did wrong...?

Author's Note

Bit of an pouring of pent-up feeling on a page. Sorry, it's not my most eloquent piece, but I needed to vent a little. Tear it apart, if you please.
Love,
Creative Cookie

Reviews

[m3lody mae]

WOW! such a strong write and nicely expressed

[Island Hippy]

Aloha, your pouring is honest and very much felt. The hurt is palpable as is the not knowing. I enjoyed reading this. Izzy

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

Quite sad and heartbreaking piece. I feel your hurt and I felt so much emotion while reading this.
Its hard to loose someone so close to you and to not even know what you did wrong to deserve to be treated that way, is hard and quite depressing even frustrating.

I loved how this piece sounds so poetic, with the rhyme scheme and the repeated line over and over, makes this piece sound extreamly poetic.
Some poems don't really sound like poems, this definetly does.
Very well written indeed.
I enjoyed this :)

[Dr. YumnaKay]

These are some unanswerable questions you wrote here.. Beautifully portrayed and heart-touching..

[Drama Child]

I love the rhyme.. I find writing to be the best form of venting. Vent away!

[KittyKatgirl]

This is amazing. There is no reason for anyone to tear it up. This hits deep and can have many meanings as to whom this poem might be aimed at. I really enjoyed this, I do not enjoy readings poem often but this definitely intrigued me. Well done Creative Cookie and maybe I should read more of your work soon. Well deserved 100/100