Monster-Chapter One

 

Chapter One

 

       I don't remember much about my childhood before the orphanage. Just a picture or two in my head. Most children are protected, loved, taken care of. I wasn't. For as long as I can remember I was attacked, hated, and took care of myself.

      No one helped me when I screamed, when I cried for mercy. No one lifted a finger when I was being beaten for no reason in the steets. No one was close to me. No one wanted to know me. I was, am, alone.

      I didn't have allies, just pacts for mutual survival, but even these didn't last. I didn't trust anyone, and nobody trusted me. I am not to be trusted, and nobody does. I know I will never be loved or treated with affection, mercy is something I have never known, nor ever will. I am a monster..........

 

           I pulled the cowl of my cloak closer about my face. I knew  was hideous. I didn't wish to frighten anyone, well, any more so than my reputation already did.I have never looked upon my reflection, but I knew anyways. The king, his advisors, and the Powers have told me so, besides, I am a monster, I cannot be beautiful. I only took off my cloak when I was alone, in the king's presence, or on formal occasions, to which I wore a veil.

           None have ever seen my face, except for the king, since that one day. It had only ever been seen once, almost eight years ago. The day I had been brought to the castle with all of the other athletic or Gifted children. Out of them all, I was the only unusual one. Ever other child was either sent to the soldiers  barracks, a workers' position, or, for a lucky few, a servant or, rarer still, apprenticed to one of the Powers.

            I wasn't. Out of all the children I was the only one the king wished to see along with his advisors and the Powers. The head of the orphanage handed me over to the king's gaurd willingly. She had always been afraid of me ever since I was first brought into her care. Ever since she saw my eyes.

            That was why I was brought before the king. Because of my eyes and how muck they scared her and the others. They change color depending on my emotions. I had also been brought for two other resons. My survival ability and my Knowing.

             My Knowing is a gift, for the king, that is. For me, its a curse. I am his little mind-reading monster, I do all his dirty work. I get into people's minds, I scent them out like a dog. I track them down and deal out the king's punnishments, for truly petty things. I am no better than a mangy mongrel.

             I looked up as my thoughts were interupted by the sound of trumpets and other such fanfare. The people of The Capitol cheered for their precious King Caston. I allowed myself a flicker of a smile, I still thought it funny that the capitol of Noneaile was named The Capitol instead of some nobler, grander title. As I rode by I saw people clutch their children to them, already performing the Ward Evil gesture. I know it well, it follows me everywhere.

             You placed your fist over your heart, formed it into a claw, and pushed it outwards. After the long, hot, boring prossesion through The Capitol I jumped off Arrow's back and,unlike the others, landed nimbly. Arrow, my horse, was my only friend. After brushing, feeding, and stableing Arrow I began the walk to my rooms. Conversations stopped as I walked by and wispers began as I passed on.

             Finally, my rooms. I threw open the door, ran through the doorway, and slamed it quickly behind me. It's so stuffy in here. I reached for the clasp to my cloak. "Lady Kaoyte, I presume?"

             Instinctivly I drew my sword and whirled to face the intruder, the point of my sword an inch from their neck. I looked closer and realised her neck, my mysterious intruder was a gangly, slight, teenage girl. How did she get into my rooms? What is she doing here? " I'm guessing I'm correct, though a simple yes would have sufficed"

Author's Note

This is the first chapter of my book I am attempting to write. By the way, totally open to chapter title suggestions. Anyways just so ya'll know, I did NOT try to rip off Hunger Games with the whole "The Capitol" deal, it just came to me as I was writing. I'm trying to think of a really cool name for the capitol of this city so, if you have any suggestions for a name, please tell. Hope you guys (and gals) enjoy! By the way, please give your honest opinion, I really want to know what ya'll think of it!
Love,
CreativeCookie

Reviews

[Arash Y]

Okey, what I can notice so far is a kind of a classic style; starting with a flashback and going on with the character introduction. I no longer write in this way. As you can see, I'm more tended to minimalism and magical realism. So, the foundation here seems to be strong enough to hold a pretty tall tale. Also the concept has the possibility of having good potentials - depending on the way you use it.

I say, give me a little more if you're expecting a real comment

[Marvin]

A good start in my opinion :) but you gave us too little to enable us tell exactly where the story is headed

[Jonas Leao]

Traditional, but well done. I'd certainly like to see more.

[CreativeCookie]

Hey sorry I couldn't read your book. I really wanted to but it's rated mature and I'm under 18 so it won't allow me to view it. Oh, I never did get aound to telling you thanks for the review did I? Well, now I shall. Thank you!!!!
Love,
CreativeCookie