Bloodly Ma.....

 

Bloody M….

 

 

          “You guys want to hear a horror story?” Jordan asked cocking one eye brow up, he had their attention now. “But to hear it we all have to test it okay?” he said looking at his three friends.

            “Why do we have to test it?” Asked Greg.

            “This story is about Bloody Mary, you see Mary was a young beautiful girl who in Salem was accused to be a witch. So during her trail which lasted a couple of weeks people started calling her “Bloody Mary” because not only was she accused of witch craft but the murder of her sister.

            “When it came to her execution she cursed the land of America and all who were to say Bloody Mary six times in to a mirror she and the devil would pull you into hell!” Jordan finished.

            “So who’s going to go first?” asked a scared faced boy named Jerry.

            “I don’t think they would come its Halloween they’d be busy wouldn’t they?” Joked Cyrus, “I’ve heard the story before and always on Halloween.”

            “Then you do it first, let’s o into my bathroom and test it.” Jordan said ushering the others into the bathroom next door. All four of them crowed into the bathroom and Cyrus looked into the mirror.

            “Bloody Mary… Bloody Mary… Bloody Mary,” he started. “Bloody Mary… Bloody Mary….” His voice quivered, “Bloody Marry.” He said grimacing. Nothing happened the mirror reflected only them.

            “My turn,” Jerry said and he too said the name six times, then Greg then Jordan. Turing their backs on the mirror they started back for Jordan’s room.

            “Help!” Jordan cried and a pair of bone thin hands had his neck and a bone thin face was in the mirror. Trying to pull Jordan back out of the mirror the three bones yanked on his arm.

            Jordan’s left leg was in the mirror now and could get free, suddenly a second pair of a hands were pulling him in. now his shoulders were in the mirror and half of Greggs arms were in their too.

            Suddenly both of the boys were in the mirror looking back at the rest, “Good bye” they mouthed and they were gone.

    

Author's Note

ive seen i have gotten somethings about this being short, this is a story i wrote on the road and i really dont feel like making it longer cuase think it is really good without prolonging it.

Reviews

[Frank F. Atanacio]

Very nice rendetion of the Bloody Mary theme-- you've posted a different take, one I haven't read before so I say how creative.. the conversation was good, and the story-line smart.. I enjoyed this short-short-short story, wish it was a little longer, and there were more haunting details, but you did very well for a short piece..:)

[Sean M. Addams]

i like this and always liked the legend of bloody mary they played it off well in the movie candyman... overall i liked it !!!scary but had some humor to it...nice work!!

[Through the Gateway]

I thought this was way too short. You didn't have time to build up your audience. You should stretch it out a bit, maybe putting a dash of "well, *Jeremy Hall* did it and they got him," answered with "Jeremy Hall moved to Chicago" or something. Build it up as fiction, with the sudden appearance of the real Bloody Mary at the end. Make the kids struggle and fight. Make them scream. Do any of their bones break? Are they scratched, clawed, bit, etc? Give us a reason to be truly horrified.

[M.O.T-3010]

LOL MORE FUNNY TO ME BUT KINDA SCARY ALSO

[Emunah June.]

Scary. Gave me shivers.