As Mute And Deaf Speak

I watched in sheer amazement
At their lively repartee,
Of such silent engagement
Discussed extensively.

Expressed in small hand gestures
And eloquent,  vivid signs,
Messages sent were sure
Relayed as they designed.

As mute and deaf speak,
Broken are the barriers.
We cannot call them weak
In life, they're better listeners.








Cynthia Buhain Baello
April 2, 2012

Reviews

[Ryan Zeller]

I love the topic and title, and your choice of words and tone really paints a picture (which is something most poems fail to do).

While I did like a lot of the word choice, there are a few pieces of the poem that come off as clunky or awkward. The two parts that stuck out the most to me were stanza 2 line 2, and stanza 3 line 4. The two adjectives in "eloquent vivid signs" sound like overkill, and the word "hearers" at the end of the poem sounds like you were just stretching for a pseudo-rhyme.

Hope this helped!

[cynthiabuhainbaello]

Thank you for the comment. "Eloquent" pertains to speech, "vivid" pertains to visuals. I could change it to "In life, they can hear better" but opted for my original thought "hearers" because of the idea of "Listener" - perhaps that would be better.

[Ryan Zeller]

I do like "listeners" better than "hearers". As for "eloquent" and "vivid", I do like the meaning behind your choice of words. Maybe just a comma after eloquent would make it flow more smoothly?

[cynthiabuhainbaello]

Yes Thank you, actually I posted this in another site and used "In life, they listen better." Hearing is just that, but listening is understanding. Thanks for making me think about it.