Respect - What Is It Really?

What is respect really?  Many people would define respect as giving due regard or esteem to a person or group,  to a national symbol such as the flag,  or to a particular religious group or culture.  Respect can be synonymous to "honor" or "valued with high regard". 

    A lot of us pay lip-service to the word respect and consider it from a one-sided point of view.  Actually,  respect is a two-way street.  When you respect other people's rights,  they are duty bound to respect you and your rights too.  When others trample on our rights we react by retaliation or the cutting off of relations.  In global politics,   it is called sanctions.  In friendship,  it is the withdrawal of cordial relations until such time that amends are made or remorse has been expressed.  In some cases,  we demand a time of testing whereby trust has to be regained and in so doing,  we impose some "fences" or rules.

   The transgression of respect - disrespect - requires a period of accountability.  One cannot demand trust,  it has to be earned.  With respect comes  high esteem and to give it,   one must have proven that he deserves such esteem.   Respect requires a degree of trust.  Trust is the quality that earns the respect.  Abuse of the unwritten code of trust leads to broken relationships that in the end become venues for the loss of respect.

  Why do people show disrespect for others - people they do not even know?  Some reasons stem from bad childhood experiences,  misguided anger directed at some institution,  leaders,  parents,  guardians,  or  even  friends.   Such antagonistic attitude comes from the anger stored inside a child or adult.  In order for healing to be done,  that root cause must be faced,  dealt with,  and uprooted.

    Respect goes hand in hand with kindness,  going the extra mile to understand the person and not hate him.   Sometimes we find it hard to be kind towards others who have given us the boot and the door.  They have regarded us with disrespect and it is impossible for us to look the other way.  We want to get even.  That thinking only makes things worse.  My father once told me that the best dialogue for a person who is filled with animosity and antagonism is Silence.  He said it is the better repartee.  Remain silent and walk away.  Let the angry disrespectful person wallow in his steam and self-destruct.  Anger always hurts the bearer of it.

  As a writer,  I have met many other writers who have earned my respect.  They too regard me with respect and have kept my friendship all these years.  We may disagree,  but we have  never resorted to  hurling words out of line and treating  each other as enemies.  Others who have resorted to such childish tantrums have lost my friendship in a silent way,  never to regain it.   One may express an opinion about a a written work but he/she must never get personal and  verbally attack the writer.   That is abuse.   The best way to deal with each other is by the golden rule:  "do unto others what you would want done unto you."










   

Author's Note

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