Chapter One

Sixteen year old Harmony Blackwell comes home late after sneaking out to a party and proceeds to enter the house unnoticed. However an eerie feeling overtakes her and her minds is screaming to her run

  

      ***(Los Angeles, California- 1 am.)***

    The streets were quiet, as was expected since it was one in the morning.  No one with good intentions would dare be up and about at this time of night- even on a  Saturday. Obviously, Harmony had no good intentions.  Pulling up in her red convertible, she scanned the safe and boring streets of  her gated neighborhood.  Her parents wanted to be sure that their children grew up in a safe enviornment of good influence and values.  That meant going to church every Sunday, reading the Bible every night after dinner, and most importantly no being outside of the house past ten- eleven on Saturday night.  However, being the high-strung girl that she was, she couldn’t help herself but to break those boring rules- which often earned her a good long lecture from her father and mother about obedience and good values.  Though she knew that her parents loved her and was only concerned for her safety, she often found herself longing for a life of adventure and freedom.  She wanted to experience things, to see the world through her own eyes, and her parents- she felt- were hindering her from chasing her dreams.  However,  Jacobi, the nine year-old annoyance that was her little brother,  shared  the same views of their father which at time led her to believe that he was his clone masquerading himself as the younger brother.  No doubt she was going to get an earful from him as well about being out of the house so late at night.  

     “You could have been mugged or raped or somebody could have mistaken you for a harlot being out this late at night dressed like that,” he would probably say with his precocious self.  It amazed her how his mind held so much information on the big bad world, yet his mind couldn’t handle or process one of his simple math problems he would have for homework.  Her mother would give him a smile and a pat on the head, while his father would say, “That’s just the nature of a man- he always protects his women.  That’s how he’s supposed to be.  The young men in this world are just all backwards and messed up,” he’d say, “that’s why when you see a man who’s living his life the way God meant for him to live, he seems weird to most people.  Remember that, Harmony,”  he would say then go back to reading his newspaper or doing whatever he was doing at the moment.  However, though Jacobi was a nuisance to her, she knew that he would always have her back and look out for her.  In fact knowing him he was probably awake waiting for her to enter the house after covering for her.  With an inward smile she pulled into the empty parking lot and cut off the engine, which- luckily for her- was quiet and smooth so that way the neighbors wouldn’t be disturbed.   No doubt they would call her parents and she would have been grounded for life.    The thought of being trapped in the house twenty-four seven sent  unwanted chills down her spine. A shiver went down her spine as she thought about it.   She took the keys out of the ignition and tossed them into the pink purse that sat in the passenger’s side next to her, before opening the door and stepping out of the car which was a red, slightly used mustang that she named Damon.  She could still recall when her father brought the car for her seventeenth birthday after making her promise that she would not get into trouble with it. 

“A person’s word is their bond, and if their word doesn’t mean anything, then that person is worthless,” her father’s words and he motto echoed in her mind.  Until tonight, she had followed that guideline- never making absolute promises that she wasn’t sure she would be able to keep, and when she did she never went back on her word, no matter what- until tonight, the inner voice retorted.   With an inward sigh and a determination not to get caught, she stepped out of the car, locked the doors and turned on the alarm before walking to the front door as quickly and as quietly as she could.  The sound of her three-inch heels echoed in the otherwise quiet nighttime air and her tired aching feet felt as if they were going fall off any second.  As she approached the doorstep, a sense of dread and eeriness washed over like a tidal wave, temporarily halting the movement of her limbs.  Her internal body temperature plummet yet her skin felt as if it was on fire and all of her senses were dialed up to ten.  It was as if her subconscious was aware of some imminent and unknown danger.  It was probably the fact that she shouldn’t even be out this late, she reasoned.   Shaking her head, and fighting off the urge to turn around and drive off, she opened the front door.  Now she was faced with the hardest and most dangerous task of all: making it to her room without disturbance or confrontation. As she entered the front area of the house which faced the stairs and was right off the kitchen she noticed that the light was off.  This was strange since Harmony knew for a fact that Jacobi always left the light on for her when she sneaked out at night so that way she wouldn’t crash when she first stepped foot into the house.  Something’s off, her inner voice declared and she agreed, but she couldn’t put her finger on what it was.  Anxiousness filled her entire being as she ventured further in the building, shutting the door behind her. It was just then that she also realized that the front door was left unlocked as well.  She would have dismissed it as Jacobi’s doing but he wouldn’t unlock the front door and then leave the lights off- and also, he would never leave the door unlocked.   Jacobi would also be sprinting down the carpeted stairs in his pajamas and his blue blanket demanding where she had been all of this time like a doting parent.  Okay, something’s definitely not right here, she declared.  Groping for the light switch she flicked it on only to find three shadowed figures sitting at the dining table (a person standing in the front entrance could see into the formal dining room and then could see the kitchen) halting her in her tracks.  I’m dead, she declared loudly in her mind, but she was also exhausted from the day’s events and just wanted to get the scolding and lecture over with so she could hop in the shower and change out of her clothes which stunk of beer and other drinks.  Therefore gathering every ounce of courage inside of her, she entered the dining room and began to flick on the switch while stating her case.

“Okay guys, I can explai- Oh my god”

Her eyes widened in horror and it was then she wished she had followed her instincts and left. 

Author's Note

The first part of the first chapter of A.L.I.C.E. Constructive criticism is both encouraged and appreciated :). BTW: Happy Thanksgiving to all of my fellow Cafe'ers. May your holiday be filled with joy and merriment.

Reviews

[Rachid Amrani]

This is well written and it's very apparent that you invested a lot of time and effort in crafting it. The sentence are very coherent and build up on each other. The story flows smoothly that makes me want to continue reading to the end. You have the story telling and it's very obvious in your work.
Your raised a very interesting topic in the chapter and that is the generation clash: The teens who tend to be rebellious and would have nothing to do with the rules their parents set, and the parents who worries about their kids' safety.
And you were very successful in portraying all that in Harmony (sneaking out to date, driving etc).
And toward the end of the chapter you took us to an new episode when Harmony returned home. You did a good job telling us about her reactions and feelings as she entered the house, adding a mystery touch to the story.

Well done and I just want to ask you if you don't mind the question:
Is English your first language? And how long you've been reading and writing?
Because from the terminology and the vocabularies you use, it seems you master the English language.

[Sira YR]

Well to answer your question, English is in fact my first language and I thank you for the very in-depth review of my work. Those feelings were exactly what I wished to portray in the chapter and the fact that you pointed that out makes me feel accomplished. As always I am humbled by your words of praise and I thank you and people like you for making me feel that my works are worthwhile.

Thank you ever so much, Rachid Armani

[Rachid Amrani]

You're very welcome and thank you for sharing your talent with us here on this site. You put a lot of effort in your works and you deserve to be reminded that you have the talent and you write some very creative stuff.

[Sira YR]

Thank you so much and the same goes to you. I thank God for blessing me with this gift as he has obviously blessed you with. :)

[Rachid Amrani]

Amen to that because you have that gift :)