THE COMMAND

THE COMMAND

A Chapter by CAPOLAVORO
"

The Command from the book is highly respected in Bendrasina and they considered the moon as like their god.

"
"BENDRASINA" a place where different kingdoms gather together to create the ideal world. 

The world is divided into real (the world without power or the human world) and the ideal ( BENDRASINA the world where people who have powers come together).

The BENDRASINA is ruled by three powerful Kingdoms. The Kingdom of Witches. The Kingdom of Elves and the Kingdom of Fairies.

Three venerable representatives from the Kingdom goes to the BENDRA CAVE every full moon to read the blest book of BENDRASINA. The book which contains commandments for the people to follow. The moonlight directly shines its brightness to the book and revealed writings after the representative reads the content of the book the moonlight shall ceased and the writings would be erased.

"The King from the Kingdom of elves shall marry the Queen from the Kingdom of witches." The first representative utter the words with great emphasis as he read the writings on the book.

 "This ought to happen for this will sustain the bliss in the land." The second representative read the second line with smile on his face as if he was pleased to know the message.

"If command be rejected, Bendrasina shall experience a dark curse from the moon and shall suffer." The third representative revealed the last message through his mouth with a fear in his eyes. 

The command has been announced all throughout the Land.

***

"You look so beautiful with your wedding gown, my Queen." Lira, one of the witches fixing Queen Elega's hair said as she looked in awe towards her queen.

"I appreciate your words Lira. I have mixed emotions right now specially that I have in my womb the fruit from the moon. A girl shall be born to take my throne someday. A girl from the blood of me and Blinto (The King of the elves)." Elega replied as she watch herself in a black floating cheval glass with satisfaction.

Elega's dreamy thoughts while looking at the mirror was crushed when she saw Mila's image on the mirror riding a broom towards her and screaming some words.

"My Queen! My Queen! I heard through the grapevine that the King of the elves is about to marry the Queen of the fairies." Shouted Mila as she fly towards Elega.

The shocked expression from Elega's face cannot be hidden as the words Mila had just delivered finally sink in her mind. "Lira! My crystal ball now!"

Lira automatically ride on her broom and went to the Queen's room to get the crystal ball and with no more than two seconds came back to hand the crystal ball to the Queen.

"LakaraLakaraNariyatam." chanted Elega as she touched the crystal ball with her hands.

The image of Blinto and Nala (the queen of the fairies) appeared in Elega's crystal ball. Blinto and Nala are happily looking at each others eyes as a wedding is about to happen.

"Traitors!" Elega shouted as she throw the crystal ball into the mirror. Elega opened her palm and her broom suddenly appear as she rides on it on her way to Blinto and Nala's wedding ceremony.




© 2017 CAPOLAVORO


Author's Note

CAPOLAVORO
Questions are welcome. :)

My Review

Would you like to review this Chapter?
Login | Register




Reviews

A very good good chapter. Gave some history and made the characters come alive to the reader. A amazing tale be unfolded. Thank you my friend for sharing the amazing chapter.
Coyote

Posted 7 Years Ago


A good start. I would love to discover more about this world and I'm sure I will.

Posted 7 Years Ago


Nice, concise and to the point. Although there are many grammatical errors, especially with tenses such as 'Elega opened her palm and her broom suddenly appear' rather than appearED.
But I thought it was a really cool idea giving witches elves and fairies their own realm, gives a lot of options.

Posted 7 Years Ago


This is a good start for a fairy tale.

Suggestions: You may try re-read the chapters as you proceed. Personally I don't think explaining everything in advance is necessary. They can be subtly inferred from the descriptions you provide as your story unfolds.

E.g.
>>"The moonlight directly shines ITS BRIGHTNESS to the book and revealed writings after the representative reads the content of the book the moonlight shall ceased and the writings would be erased."

You may consider to make changes like "The moonlight shone directly onto the book. Lines of writings are revealed." and supply the information of the words disappearing after the representatives had read the book.

This is only a suggestion, and you have full right in deciding whether to take it. I like the construction of the story and your detailed descriptions of the events - don't take me wrong. No offence intended.

Posted 7 Years Ago


What a fairy tale!, Nicely written, and interesting. Im not one for fairy tales it this was nice, looking forward to the next chapter

Poeticme

Posted 7 Years Ago


CAPOLAVORO

7 Years Ago

Thank you so much Poeticme. There are more chapters to read. :)
Excellent start. This sets the scene in succinct and pithy fashion and begins to build a world of imagination and colour

Posted 7 Years Ago


CAPOLAVORO

7 Years Ago

Thank you so much for your wonderful words. :)
This is a nicely woven fairy tale. Although I don't read the fantasy genre anymore, but this was really fun to read :)
One small thing : You need to correct grammar and tenses at some places in this write to make it read smooth..
I enjoyed reading this. Well penned :)

Posted 7 Years Ago


CAPOLAVORO

7 Years Ago

Thank you so much. I will try to do that then. :) Thank you.
Dr. YumnaKay

7 Years Ago

You're welcome, C! 😊😊
great story,and i just watched a crazy movie on tv
it reminds me of your write

Posted 7 Years Ago


CAPOLAVORO

7 Years Ago

Haha yah there are a lot of crazy stories like this that is why I am inspired to write one.
BENDRASINA
Elega
Blinto
and all those names you mentioned have nay meaning like your name?

Posted 7 Years Ago


CAPOLAVORO

7 Years Ago

No Abraham. They are just being made by me hehe I just think the name Elega sounds a little witchy a.. read more
I have lot of Questions to ask.

Question No 1. When will you upload next chapter?
Question No 2.When will you upload next chapter?
Question No 3.When will you upload next chapter?
Question No 4.When will you upload next chapter?
Question No 5.When will you upload next chapter?
Question No 6.When will you upload next chapter?
Question No 7.When will you upload next chapter?
Question No 8.When will you upload next chapter?
Question No 9.When will you upload next chapter?
Question No 10.When will you upload next chapter?
Question No 11.When will you upload next chapter?
Question No 12.When will you upload next chapter?
Question No 13.When will you upload next chapter?
Question No 14.When will you upload next chapter?
Question No 15.When will you upload next chapter?
Question No 16.When will you upload next chapter?
Question No 17.When will you upload next chapter?
Question No 18.When will you upload next chapter?
Question No 19.When will you upload next chapter?
Question No 20.When will you upload next chapter?


Posted 7 Years Ago


Abraham George

7 Years Ago

i love children, That's why i like you.
CAPOLAVORO

7 Years Ago

haha I am not a child anymore. :p
Abraham George

7 Years Ago

You are still childish

First Page first
Previous Page prev
1
Share This
Email
Facebook
Twitter
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

877 Views
14 Reviews
Rating
Added on March 18, 2017
Last Updated on March 19, 2017
Tags: #witch, #broken, #hatred


Author

CAPOLAVORO
CAPOLAVORO

Cebu, 7, Philippines



About
My life is average. My heart is average. My pulse is average. My mind is average. You might think I am an average girl then? My hopes are supreme My dreams are extreme My writes are creativ.. more..

Writing
TIME TIME

A Poem by CAPOLAVORO



Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..


As I Sit As I Sit

A Poem by Robert