MICHELANGELO'S DAVID

This is about MICHELANGELO'S DAVID. One of the sculpture that I adore.

Staring at your herculean fine shape

Statuesquely lift up my soul within

Soon Hypnos awakes with a smell of grape

See your thorn so long and strong breaking in

Eyes looking towards my Rome anxiously

Ears hearing my sighs of sweet agony

Effulge your contrapposto angrily

Eidetic of the queen’s fig leaf apathy

Mel like soft hair passing through my fingers

Mendacity of your Florentine touch

Midas touch like yours on my figures

Muses sings as you break my dwelling hutch

Euphoric sense to defeat my giant

Everlasting love towards defiant

Author's Note

I am actually trying to make a Shakespearean sonnet on this one but I had a hard time on the stressed and unstressed syllables. Anyways, hope you enjoy. :)

Reviews

[Kathy Van Kurin]

"MICHEALANGELO'S DAVID"
CAPOLAVARO,
This poem is a true to form as far as words which might be in use for a classic shakspearean sonnet. I am no expert but with a some rework of line layout, for expamples switching front to back. I don not know what kind of editing you want to do. I just was so impressed with the lovely expressions, bringing emotional and physical description. I thought this girl has done so much with this I felt that it just needs the tiniest bit of T.L.C. and you may be even more tickled with it.
Loved it and gave it a 100.
Blessings,
Kathy

[William Liston]

Because of the errors in the stressed and unstressed syllables, I'm not sure if I'd consider this a Shakespearean sonnet, but nevertheless, it is a good poem with a spot-on rhyme scheme and a seamless flow. When it comes to art, I've always been one for paintings instead of sculptures, but the way you described Michelangelo's "David" is like a painting in itself. I very much enjoyed your vocabulary as well as your vivid descriptions.

Since you seem to be interested in structured poetry, here's some poets on this site I suggest reading:

mattavelli: http://www.writerscafe.org/mattavelli

Shabeeh Haider: http://www.writerscafe.org/ShabeehHaider

Richard: http://www.writerscafe.org/RichardJ

- William Liston

[CAPOLAVORO]

I really do understand that. Thank you for reading. :) I will try my best next time with your suggestions. :)

[yuhee]

Wow oh wow this is so brilliant! I just fell in love with David with your words. You really nailed it. I'm looking forward for more of your another Shakespearean sonnet. :)

[CAPOLAVORO]

Thank you so much. :) I will try to make another one then.

[Stacy Purvis]

One of my favorite sculptures! What a lovely treat! Thank you for sharing.

[CAPOLAVORO]

Thank you so much. :)

[Abraham George]

Staring at your herculean fine shape
Statuesquely lift up my soul within
Soon Hypnos awakes with a smell of grape
See your thorn so long and strong breaking in

Hypnos awakes with a smell of grapes . so beautiful.
i think even Shakespear cant create such a beautiful poem in these 14 lines.

you are really talented ,

in this poem somewhere i can taste a bit of sensual meaning .

[CAPOLAVORO]

Thank you so much Abraham. You are such a good friend. :)

[boygene borice]

i love the way you weave your words,and the use of imagery that makes the poem so wonderful,leaving the recipient in bliss.

[CAPOLAVORO]

Thank you so much Boygene. :)

[Coyote Poetry]

A very good use of words. When I was young. I went to Italy three times. The ancient art make you know. Something will last forever. Your words and thoughts made the reader ponder and think. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[CAPOLAVORO]

Thank you so much too. This one entails more about the history of the statue so I do hope more will ponder. :)

[Coyote Poetry]

You made me ponder and think. You are welcome dear Poet.

[wordman]

greek mythology has always been defined by a poet,your poem covers a vast amount of subject matter,sexual tones,and the shape and curves of ones body,yet sensual but not off color

[CAPOLAVORO]

Yeah, like a prom night? hehe :)

[wordman]

i got my tux !

[CAPOLAVORO]

I got my dressie! :D but I ain't going without a good poem. ;)

[wordman]

roses are red,violets are blue,i`m going to the prom,just me and you

[CAPOLAVORO]

naah the "roses are red,violets are blue" thing is soo dry and History.

[wordman]

well here i stand in awe and bliss,going to the prom with you,i can only reminess

[Lovecraft]

I love this poem! Hypnos, the Greek God of Sleep and Midas, King of Phrygia and all your other references to Greek Mythology are delightful additions to this great poem. Laughing at the leaf concealing David's crotch. :)

This is a beautifully written piece that is imbued throughout with Greek Mythology and a tinge of classical poetry. A lovely and well-thought out poem that really immersed me with the choice of words.

Extremely good job, Capo! ;)

*Applauds heartily*

[CAPOLAVORO]

Haha. It was so hard to find this picture with a leaf because most of the pictures are having no fig leaf at all. I can't have that in here so I really tried to find one. Although David is not in Greek mythology but I just like to add up some characters and attitude that's why. Thank you so much Lovecraft. I love your craft in here. ;)

[Lovecraft]

Lol, nice pun. :)

I just love Greek Mythology, it's so interesting and strange and complex.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

It is always good to try different forms of writing and practice and confidence help together with support and guidance. You are obviously a devotee of this sculpture as you bring in the technical dimensions such as the term for the stance etc. I enjoyed it overall but some editing would make it even better.

[CAPOLAVORO]

Yeah. I am just lazy now. :) I am inspired reading some of your poems that is why I tried to make one actually. ;)

[John Alexander McFadyen]

You also write in English, not your first tongue. But this poem is good and just some crafting will improve it.

[CAPOLAVORO]

Thank you. :) I will.