TREAT ME LIKE AN ELEMENT

It is for you to find out. Play with your mind. Do not be an easy thinker.

Treat me like the Earth

Keep stepping on my worth

Dig into my own wealth

Plant poisons do it stealth

Treat me like the Water

Satisfy your body in my honor

Quench the thirst of your desire

When your satisfied call me Sire

Treat me like the Fire

In my presence you shall admire

It's okay to be a liar

Play with me outside the wire

Treat me like the Air

After the heat the breeze will share

Breathing bodies in despair

Winds of love can now prepare

Treat me like the Ether

Sweet smelling reliever

Bloodless way of leisure

A liquid that can still put us in danger. 

Author's Note

Still playing with words. Hoping for reviews maybe. I am still new at this one.

Reviews

[Poeticme]

This was a very lovely play with words here my lady, wonderfully written, thank you for sharing this write ☺

Poeticme

[CAPOLAVORO]

Thank you too. :)

[Abraham George]

Treat me like the Earth
Keep stepping on my worth
Dig into my own wealth
Plant poisons do it stealth

Treat me like the Water
Satisfy your body in my honor
Quench the thirst of your desire
When your satisfied call me Sire

i understand how wicked you are .
i learn the meaning of these line- really adultery

[CAPOLAVORO]

Haha I am not that wicked. :p

[RahmaChio]

Amazing job and work for this

[CAPOLAVORO]

Thank you so much. :)

[Abraham George]

Treat me like the Fire
In my presence you shall admire
It's okay to be a liar
Play with me outside the wire

also in fire you can cleanse your sin

[CAPOLAVORO]

Yeahh it could be. This one has a bit of human wickedness for me. Like adultery or anything like that.

[Abraham George]

yes i felt that

[Phill Oz O'fee]

An element is described as an essential or characteristic part of something intangible. Your interesting take using the elements as reference to human characterises comes across both poetically and intriguingly! Well written …

[CAPOLAVORO]

Thank you so much. It is so nice to hear that you figured out the relationship between the elements and human characteristics.

[Phill Oz O'fee]

Magkaroon ka ng magandang araw

[CAPOLAVORO]

Hehe maraming salamat. Ikaw din.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

I can see where you are going with this and it is interesting because of the focus upon elements. I do think a trap many poets make is to write into rhyme which then feels forced. Try free verse. with this subject and I think you will be less restricted and feel freer to work on balance, meter and flow.

[CAPOLAVORO]

Thank you so much. This made my day. :)

[Troy Henson]

Thought provoking indeed. So many truths in this write. Some beautiful imagery, flow and tone throughout.

[CAPOLAVORO]

Thank you for noticing. :)

[.]

As Coyote has said, a very interesting use of the elements. A very creative piece.

Some nice rhyme sequences in the poem. Perhaps try and keep your rhyme scheme uniform throughout the entire piece to increase the free flowing nature of your words.

A nice little write. Original and creative.

[CAPOLAVORO]

Thank you so much. Yeah, kinda have some words that do not rhyme a lil bit. Just more into the meaning though. :) Thank you so much for appreciating.

[Leo]

Awesome read. I have to admit rhyme always get my attention first and yours was spot on.

Your poem read effortlessly as if listening to a pianist..bravo

here are my two cents:
The first stanza "within in" sounded a bit weak and threw me out of tune..and the 4th stanza "I can now hear and despair didn't really rhyme despite ending with "r" and also threw me out of tune"..consider revising and it will be flawless!

[CAPOLAVORO]

mmmm.. I'll try :) Thank you so much.

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

Now this is Creative Writing! I enjoyed the read very much, it had me smiling at your comparisons from beginning to end. Tyfs

[CAPOLAVORO]

Thank you so much for your pleasant words. Your review made me smile too. :)

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

You're most welcome. :) I'm glad