TREAT ME LIKE AN ELEMENT

TREAT ME LIKE AN ELEMENT

A Poem by CAPOLAVORO
"

It is for you to find out. Play with your mind. Do not be an easy thinker.

"
Treat me like the Earth
Keep stepping on my worth
Dig into my own wealth
Plant poisons do it stealth

Treat me like the Water
Satisfy your body in my honor
Quench the thirst of your desire
When your satisfied call me Sire

Treat me like the Fire
In my presence you shall admire
It's okay to be a liar
Play with me outside the wire

Treat me like the Air
After the heat the breeze will share
Breathing bodies in despair
Winds of love can now prepare

Treat me like the Ether
Sweet smelling reliever
Bloodless way of leisure
A liquid that can still put us in danger. 

© 2017 CAPOLAVORO


Author's Note

CAPOLAVORO
Still playing with words. Hoping for reviews maybe. I am still new at this one.

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Reviews

I love that you used one of the main elements for each stanza . . . nice composition overall, especially with the whimsical "Treat me like . . . " which is fresh & original. I also like your extended rhymes thru-out each stanza, but in a couple places the rhyme choice feels a little simplistic . . . could reach for a few more complex rhymes to enhance your meaning a bit. All in all, nicely creative & thought-provoking.

Posted 7 Years Ago


Oh wow this was really creative and unique. I loved the words used here and the concept. Maybe in the future work on your wording and sentence structure otherwise i think its wonderfully put together and beautifully thought out and i hope to read more stuff like this from you !!

Posted 7 Years Ago


very nice to read i will treat you like earth

Posted 7 Years Ago


You do justice to the five elements. Your play with words is creative and you keep us interested, and perhaps curious abut the 'true' meaning of the last verse. Good write.

Posted 7 Years Ago


I really like this. The way you kept the theme with the elements was very well done. Deep and passionate.

Posted 7 Years Ago


CAPOLAVORO

7 Years Ago

Thank you so much. :)
I loved your choice of words and the rhyme scheme.
Truly imaginative to write such a wonderful poem.
Great poem!

Posted 7 Years Ago


CAPOLAVORO

7 Years Ago

My choice of words is for your happiness. :) Thank you so much.
Gorgeous way with words and imagery. I think this speaks many volumes on not only how people treat people, but how they treat nature and the world.
This is a very good piece. I loved it

Posted 7 Years Ago


CAPOLAVORO

7 Years Ago

Thank you so much. Glad you noticed it could be in many different ways. :)
Very creative and fast paced and rhythmic and awesome. I feel like your inventive but you're missing the emotional pace to take it easy and slow. Then rise with the balances of the rhythm and voice of the poem. It has essence and joy in it but I like it.

Posted 7 Years Ago


CAPOLAVORO

7 Years Ago

I like to be fast sometimes. :) I'll give another poem a try to be slow as you said then. :) Thank y.. read more
What a great piece, I love how you merged the words with the elements, well done this was a good write.

Posted 7 Years Ago


CAPOLAVORO

7 Years Ago

Thank you so much Joey. Glad you noticed that goodness of it. :)
Joey Nizz

7 Years Ago

Your very much welcome ^^
Great things come out of ones words of writing and you proved that!

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1659 Views
47 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on February 19, 2017
Last Updated on March 5, 2017
Tags: #emotion, #feelings, #love

Author

CAPOLAVORO
CAPOLAVORO

Cebu, 7, Philippines



About
My life is average. My heart is average. My pulse is average. My mind is average. You might think I am an average girl then? My hopes are supreme My dreams are extreme My writes are creativ.. more..

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