Glass Walls and Silent Affairs

 

The crimson curtain draws to close,

The light within is dimmed;

They hide the sins that no one knows,

Their morals greatly thinned.

 

She’s finding love in foreign men,

Falling away from hope;

He’s taking up his deadly sin,

Grabbing hold of the rope.

 

The glass they held between their lips,

They broke in shards of pain;

Their end has come in tiny sips,

Drinking away the sane.

 

Tints that hide forbidden romance,

As thick as moonless night,

Will hide the shame they do not chance,

And keep them out of sight.

Reviews

[emipoemi]

.....ooooooh! Wonderful! Eerie, profound, and wonderful! Well done!

[PianoandPage]

nice dark and slightly gothic write here! i really like how you focused on the curtains, the thin shield that hides her indiscretions. i think you do a fair job at describing this.

not a huge fan of ryhming but you do it well for the most part. i would recomment one tiny change...

"Tints that hide forbidden romance," - "forbidden" broke up the rhythmn for me. one syllabl too long. maybe try "taboo"?

"Tints that hide taboo romance,"

also the stanza before that lost me. i wasn't sure what you were saying.

otherwise i thought this was a great write!

[Mariah]

The glass they held between their lips,

They broke in shards of pain;

Their end has come in tiny sips,

Drinking away the sane.

^^ Absolutely my favorite verse. It flows well throughout.

I'm also a fan of the title. :)

[Legion]

"Drinking away the sane" - that was an exceptionally brilliant line in a fantastically dismal poem. Well told. I liked it.