Detached

He was the first

Man she ever gave

Into willingly for he was

First to ask permission.

 

Kissing her lips softly he

Saw the fear in her wide eyes and

Asked one more time if she was ready,

A quick "are you sure?"

 

A nod was all he got in response,

Her mouth unable to form words.

Possibly because she

Wasn't truly sure.

 

He went on to her

Sacred ground,

Slowly moving on to the

"Untouched" parts of her.

 

As he looked down at her face

He noticed the single tear,

The traitor, passing her closed

Lid and sliding down her flushed cheek.

 

Stopping, he wipes the

Tear with his thumb

Before asking "Are you okay?"

In that moment she lied.

 

No, she was not okay but she nodded anyway.

 

He need not know

What he had just done for she

Knew it was a possibility far before

They had even begun.

 

She let him continue on,

Holding in the sobs

That were desperatley

Fighting to be heard.

 

 

This was not the result of

Physical pain

But of something

Far worse.

 

 

Once he lay himself

Beside her and attempts

To stroke her cheek,

She turns her back to him.

 

Let him assume

What he wants,

She can not even

Bear to look at him.

 

Her knees are pulled tight to

Her chest and her sobs

Run silent but harder than

Any other tears she had ever cried.

 

Closing her eyes she replays the last few moments over again in her head.

 

This man, the one she loves more

Than any other she's come to know

May have been the one with her

But her mind saw different.

 

The key that unlocked the

Hidden memories that no amount of

Prying ever could, he was no longer the man

She loved.

 

Looking at him she saw the woman who

Betrayed her purity at three,

The man who attempted at thirteen

And all the others inbetween.

 

 

All her life she'd yearned

For the knowledge,

For the memories of what

She couldn't see.

 

Waited years and years

And the moment came

When she was in love

At nineteen.

 

The man she thought she would wed,

The one she finally loved

Enough to share a bed,

Was an alien to her.

 

 

She could no longer live in her own skin.

 

None the less let him love

Her as she was.

She let him in and now there was

Nothing left of her.

 

In the moments where she should've

Felt filled with more love

Than she ever had before

She became hollowed out.

 

Numbness runs

Through her

And she is no longer

In this bed.

 

Now she is visiting

Every bed, couch, and bathroom

That her memories

Had hid from her.

 

What she never

Truly knew

Becomes all she

Can ever know.

Reviews

[koty bell]

tears tears tears very sad great work though