Self Help

Read this or not. I don't care. Just getting some things out

I've thought about my life...

Thought over what it was and how it's changed. Though, the only difference I can see that's different now, then before, is the fact I have b***s, curves, a period, and yes, the occasional crush/boyfriend...Sadly though, I've been finding myself drifting away from those I love, often finding conflict within myself and those around me. I've been discovering new things about myself...And each day I just continue like some things never happened. Some though, I can never seem to let go of, or erase from my mind. 

Some memories are scars, burned to the back of my corneas...

Yet each day, I realize, the words what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger doesn't apply to everyone. In some moments of my life, yes it has made me stronger and has molded me into what I am today, but other time's it's my kryptonite, and I stumble a lot till I'm lost within a whirling black hole, clueless as how to escape or who to go to...

I never reveal the true feelings that stir inside my body. I only put them in a jar, close it tight and go on to the next day...

Personally, I wish I could revert back to the quiet bookworm I was before I met all my friends in High School. The one who stayed in her own little bubble and didn't notice anyone around her unless their actions involved her...

I've tried to go back...but it's too late now...

I've changed...and every time I try going back, it doesn't work. It never does. It's not who I am anymore. That person is gone...

I've also noticed that I haven't been writing lately...

I feel as through I can't anymore...

Stress, pressure, and a complete lack of faith in myself that my writing is actually worth something to read are all the obstacles that are in my way. They're hurdles I can't seem to jump over...They're setting me back, yet I'm not even fighting against them to get free...

Thank you, for anyone who read this. It means you care. That you're one of the few people who actually read my writing...

If you'd leave a comment on your feelings on my feelings...that would be wonderful. Thank you so much.

Reviews

[zainul]

You are discovering yourself as you grow up.
I appreciate your sharing with others.
The readers may be benefited from your write.
Thanks for the sincere efforts.

[Rika]

i know exactly how you feel, i was shy, never talked to anyone but then in high school i got socail but then just got stressd and crassed menttaly and stuff . and peope do care, at least i do *hugs

[Broken Hearted Faux]

T-thank u too...

[Kitten]

I love this. It shows yew are willing to open up. And yew know I love yew. And I'm not going anywhere. Not matter what. And it's fine. If yew dont' believe me. Or want to go back to being a lonely bookworm. I just want yew to be happy. That's all ever wanted. And I will always be here for yew... Forever..

[Broken Hearted Faux]

T-thank you...

[Kitten]

-hugs-

[Broken Hearted Faux]

*hugs*