Apology to Kurt

up down, up down

                                spiraling all around

               in childhood  moved around

                    tossed aside

            never did you lash  out

              in anger or harm others

         you became a soul

            too delicate for this world

                                       feeling all it's pain

           you sang your

          tragic songs

                  shot up heroine

           up down,  up down

         a brain out of control

                                      spiraling all around

          we heard your songs

                 and your agony

           you were tossed  around

                     but your lonely voice

           wasn't heard

                       only the harmony and the pain

 

    We never heard the sound when you went away

                      that day

       Not the blast of the bullet fired into your shattered brain

                        Forgive us our trespasses

           for letting you down,  and not reaching into your hellish

                 cancer

 

      

 

         

 

                               

Reviews

[Wharton]

Kurt Cobain I assume. It was a short but influential life he led and he's left a lasting legacy. The form of your poem works well for it shows ths sort of roller-coaster life, those mood swings, etc. I'm not what society could or could not have done to help him, but there must have been signs that he was in trouble. Maybe the pain that he felt is what made his music relevant to so many...and also why his death seems to have left such a lasting impression on a generation. Lovely written.

[Eden]

i felt that...deep.

[Julio Angel Ortiz]

Nicely done. I like the formatting and how it denotes the downward spiral of the person you are writing to in the poem. You really convey the sense of isolation that the person felt / went through, and your frustration at not having reached them in time. Your last line is great. Again, nice job.

[Voice]

a life taken to soon...there will never be an answer to why things like this happen, they just do. we need to stand up and let their voices be heard. powerful write!!!

Carol

[..R.I.P..]

Very powerful write, very good, and very sad. There really isn't much criticing that can be done here. Great job.
~An Angel That Brings The Sweetest Of Dreams

[Jeff]

I enjoyed reading your poem. Nirvana was one of my favorite bands as well. I was also reading some of your other poems and I thought they were beautifully written. The style is very creative and the poems were fun to read.

[Eric Cox]

A very sad and beautiful poem.

[BLACKCRUSH]

This is such a powerful write , its so hard to look back and think of the things that we could of said or done. You painted such a real but sad picture of of a person who like you said "never lashed out" but was dealing with so much internal pain , I sense this was a hard write for you.I think you did a beautiful job from start to finish capturing the emotion of this piece . I think this was outstanding work , thank you for sharing this piece.

[Doctor JKC]

A great homage to a wonderful man.
The form lends well to enhancing the words.
The lines that were placed at extreme right read well as a separate piece!
Your last line is superb and just killed me.

Excellent work,
Dr.J

[The Flawed]

Mr Cobain would be proud of you and I'm sure you will win the contest with this piece. Well done and good luck.