UNBEARABLE

..expressing the feeling after hearing Brook's tumor has grown..she is only 3 y/o and has been fighting ATRT cancer for over 17 months now..........

 

 

guts shredding, torn, and ripped

knawing, churning in the empty pit

agony, anguish, pain that is severing

every part of my very being

heart homing in my throat

my speech has left me

no air left in me and I can't breathe

crawling down my legs and arms

I can't move, or grasp this pain

no tears pouring from my eyes

this is all too painful to cry

I find some refuge in my bed

absorbing the news sinking in my head

trying to pray yet wondering why

boxing back and forth with God

don't tell me only HE knows why

Or that I will understand by and by

for now just let me feel this pain

until I can stand on my feet again

 

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Vague]

Wow, I really like this one. The beginning in particular is constructed magnificently. The rhythm is just superb.

Very descriptive, and effective delivery. I really felt like I could empathize with everything you were feeling as I read. I kept picturing standing in an empty room and being torn apart from the inside out while the world crumbled around me. Wonderful poem.

I'm so sorry your inspiration had to come at such a price, though. You and Brook have my best wishes. It's not much but it's all I can give.

[MadasonBlue]

I cannot relate to how you feel because I've never had to go through something like that, but I imagine that if a poem could make me feel this desperate and it wasn't even me going through this, then it must be hard.

This poem has made me understand how emotional pain becomes physical just by the sheer intensity of it. It made me understand frustration and not wanting to be told it's alright when it obviously isn't...

This is very good.

[..R.I.P..]

Cancers a b***h! I lost an uncle and a best friend to cancer. I loved this poem, so passionate and constructed magnificently. I can relate to how you felt when you wrote this.

[Lisa]

Amazing! This poem from beginning to end gives off the feeling of an incurable agony. It screams out from an open wound and I could feel devastation as I read it. Its almost as if "He" is the only help where it seems like this help is not coming and falls into Why? Its a gripping plea. Well done.

[~Sweet Mel~]

This was a poem filled with lots of emotion!...great work!...[thank you for the review that you left me']

[Coldwind]

Viceral! I actually felt my heart beat a little faster when I was reading this. It sounds like it came from a true place and I think that is why it appeals to me so much. Most of us have such moments but aren't able to articulate them and I beleive it is that articulation that finally helps to stop the pain. At least I sincerely hope that is the case here! A very powerful and well crafted piece.

[Angie Diane♥&hea..]

I love it and it suits me well.

[Anita B Jacques]

overwhelming is the pain, feeling helpless, out of control, you want to scream endlessly, hit your head against a wall to relieve yourself of the news, dig a small hole and hide yourself from this painful world, so raw is the pain. Writing about it brings some release, thank you for sharing, my heart feels for you. God Bless.

[Psyche]

Wow! This is definitely how I felt this last week. I can only surmise depression. A sort of depression that comes about when you fight with God on something that is not internal but comes about when you have a true beef. The rhyming is great, I agree with vague on that. You have a true talent with this one. I loved this one and am glad you suggested this as a read. Great job! You captured pain very well.

[J.P.]

This sounds rebellious in a good way. Also, for some reason, when you said empty pit, I imagined/substituded a fire pit in the Holocaust, the ones where the Nazis threw the bodies. Oh, this could also describe the Holocause experience of someone else. Reminds me of Elie Wiesel....

[shinya]

this poem is wonderful. it made me cry.