Drifting Away

 

 

Caught up under the ocean's swell

Tossing, sinking, rising again

Grey and black waters holding me down

Breathless, frightened, and overwhelmed

Catching a glimpse of light overhead

I must decide if I want to be found

The water calms and I flow with the waves

Into a place that takes me away

Delirious with the taste of salt water

and exhaustion that subdues

Mystical, enchanting thoughts float to the surface

And I am being torn between the light and the water

 

 

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[J.P.]

A lion with a cat's tail. Sorry, but the last line is sort a downer. All the lines before are imagery and allow me to imagine myself as described in the poem, like "partially drowning." Then, this last line just came and shut it off because it is symbolic instead of "picture-making." My interpretation is that light meant life or the "light" and water meant death or been consumed by something dark, like a terrible thought. If I'm correct, this poem would feel like I'm floating in ocean, struggling with the water, then... I'm shut off right in the middle of the struggle.
Is there a Drifting Away II ?

[THERISA]

Reading this poem, you capture the daily struggle, many of us, on the edge have. Fighting to stay afloat in the painful maelstrom of emotions. Knowing that it only takes a moment to find that final inner peace, which we have been seeking for most of our lives. Thank you, for presenting this battle in non-confrontational matter.

[~*~Peace Keeper~*~]

You put your words in a way that i can see this happening

[charleybear]

i liked it, strong powerful, i can almost see myself fighting the current then stopping and letting it all wash over me. nice

[Mr. Lopez]

This one has a different feel but definitley ebbs and flows. I really liked the different feel. Well done.

Mr.Lopez

[ape domenigoni]

Wow, very intense and I love the way it flows. Great writing.