Leftovers

Being abducted isn't so bad, really. Once you've been through it a few times, it's a walk in the park. I mean, don't get me wrong, the first time was terrifying. Lots of prodding, and…exploring is done, but if you're good and don't squirm too much that first time around, then odds are pretty good that they will swing by Earth again someday and pick you up for another quick probing and telepathic scan. Nothing I can't handle.

The only problem is, after eight or nine times around, things start to get a little weird. I was beginning to think that my alien captor had a crush on me. I couldn't honestly tell if he even was a he, and not a she. The alien was likely neither, or at least not something that human biology could explain to me.

I could blame the whole annoying situation on this one time--I think it was my third, no fourth time getting sucked up from my bed and into the flying saucer--when I decided that maybe showing him my gratitude would make him stop, or something. I don't really know what I was doing. So for six months I slept with a small present attached to my PJs. It was a crocheted little green man that I had my mother make for me. I wanted to give my alien friend something homey and non-threatening. I thought, what better than a homemade doll crafted in his image?

Well that's all it took, because from then on--and for the next four abductions--it almost seemed like I was expected to bring something with me. Like, as though I should be thanking this otherworldly monster for probing me and scraping the innards of my skull.

By the ninth abduction I had had enough. When I was sucked up for the last time, I deliberately did not take any gifts. No more dollar store junk, or candy bars, or any of my Star Trek models. No, I was putting my foot down--and hopefully putting an end to this sham of a relationship.

Well, that didn't go over so well.

After my latest sub-orbital bodily violation had been completed, I found myself lying naked on the cold steel operating table, the blindingly bright surgical lights in my face. All pretty typical stuff. Just then my alien frienemy (that's a contraction of friend and enemy, in case you were wondering) reached out his long spindly fingers toward me. He then held his whole hand out, green palm facing up pleadingly. He looked right into my eyes and waited for me to make with the present. I sat up and raised my finger in front of me with a nervous smile, as if to say "One minute".

I climbed down, and then stumbled over to where my PJs were piled on the white enameled floor. I pretended to go through my pockets to buy time, but I knew that I just had to suck it up and get this over with. I pulled my PJ pants on in an attempt to spare some of my dignity, and then stepped forward at last, my finger now pointed accusingly toward my slender green adversary.

"Listen here," I said, taking another step closer, "I want to go back to my house and my bed. This is the last time I'm going to do this, okay?" I could feel my knees shaking.

The alien looked puzzled. I mean, it's not like he understood english or anything, right? He closed the gap between by silently taking two steps forward. I gulped.

Time to try this again.

"Take me home, now! No more gifts, and definitely no more probings!"

The creature just looked angry now. He held out his hand, and in a flash, a blaster pistol thingy appeared in his palm. He held it to my forehead and grumbled some gurgly alien nonsense. We stood there silently for a few seconds. I could feel a bead of sweat running down my temple. I gulped again, and finally spoke to break the tension.

"Okay," I said, "maybe that was a bit harsh. I didn't bring you anything because...because." I had to think of something. Oh god, Mom is going to kill me for this. "Because I told my mother all about you, and she's agreed to invite you for dinner. Tomorrow. At my house. How does that sound?"

The alien's eyes brightened, he lowered his blaster from my head, and gargled some cheery-sounding mew. I think he bought it. That was a close one. The next thing I knew it, I was back in my bed. Safe and sound. Now I just had to think of a way to explain all of this to Mom...

***

"Pass the, um--green beans, dear." My mother motioned to me, being careful not to get too close to our guest (whose head was getting uncomfortably close to the light dangling over the kitchen table). I nodded and quietly complied. There was no noise in our dingy kitchen, apart from the hushed static of the counter television turned on low. Understandably, there was little in the way of conversation to be had between any of us, so I decided that I might try to strike up some small talk.

"So," I looked up to the alien, "how are you enjoying the meal?" He made some positive gurgle, and then made some sort of facial expression that I guess could be described as a smile. I think the meal was sufficient. Hopefully he would be satisfied, and this would be the last time I would ever have to see this greedy monster.

Hopefully, but probably not.

***

The next month, my doubts were proven correct, when the bright flashing lights of the flying saucer returned and blasted through my bedroom window. That was right around when my mother barged in, screaming and jumping around (presumably in an effort to rescue me or something). I began to lift off of my bed in the usual way. Then, as I began floating out toward the window, my mother dashed over to me with something in her hands. It was a tupperware container filled with last night's lasagna. "Here!" She shoved the food at me. I took it and placed it on my belly as I slowly floated out past the window, and over the front lawn. She just waved goodbye to me. "Have fun!" she yelled, then smiled.

From then on, she always made sure I had a gift ready for my abductor. Something tells me she'd rather give a gift, than have to awkwardly entertain my big green friend again. This is my life...

Author's Note

More concept art writing!


UPDATE: Oops. Had to fix a few formatting errors. Should be fixed with a refresh of the page.

Reviews

[Trigorin]

Not bad. You have a good concept and you execute it fairly well, but I personally don't really like the ending - seems a little weak compared to the buildup it's given. You've written well and I really like the plot, but the ending needs a little work.

[Butterfly_Kid]

Thank you. I think you're right about the ending. I'm still a bit iffy about it, too.

[Andrew Leister-Frazier]

Once again I enjoyed this, but I am sad because I have read them all now.

[Spoon]

You definately have a way with sci-fi. I've tried to write non-communicating aliens before and never managed it quite as well as you have here.
I think you should consider the age of the main character and include it in the writing. It seems to me that this is still a child, yet the language would suggest an older person. It created a bit of conflict for me as I was unable to "place" the narrator.
I also agree that the ending could use a once-over and perhaps expanded a little.
Fantastic concept, though, and very well written.

[roarke]

Have Fun!....exactly what the reader is going to have with this piece. I liked the attitude, the snappy narrative, everything smooth as a milky way, Saturn ring ice cream novelty.

In this sentence: "I climbed down, and then stumbled over to where my PJs were sitting, piled on the white enameled floor."

I'd just delete the word sitting and the comma. It would read better. IMHO.

But definitely, I dig it.

[Butterfly_Kid]

Yeah, I wanted to go with something a little more fun and light this week. Glad you enjoyed it. And thanks for picking out that awkward phrasing. I'll revise.