Dear Demons

I caged the beast
I did just as they said
My innocence hoping
It would fade away
Die

Years pass and nothing
The beast is silent
My frail mind thought it was dead
The whole time it was waiting
Watching
Preserving it's strength
Until the day it could break free
Devour my soul
Kill me from within
Twist my mind into believing lies
While it shatters the truth

It almost had me
It almost won
It almost took away my final breath
Leaving me in a pool of my own blood
ALMOST

Dear Demons give up the fight
I will prevail
Get in your cage and rot
Eat away at each other until there is nothing left
No longer will I let you take away from me
No longer will I let you control me
No longer will I even let you breathe
So get out of me
Or die
While I create my own Utopia
You'll see
I'll make it
Dear Demons
You'll see

Reviews

[Beau Maysey]

Nice poem, the topic of internal demons is always a treasure trove for ideas.
Perhaps rhyming more than just the 'ee' sounds could improve the piece even more, as might condensing somewhat the part about the the demons lying in wait.
general advice, i guess, show don't tell? hm, not as good at constructive criticism as I imagined, but good piece, I like it :)

[AliceWithAButterflySoul]

I see what you're saying. In my next piece I'll try using more imagery. Thank you for taking the time to write this review ^.^

[Exit Only]

Your writing is so perfect, I love all of it so much

[AliceWithAButterflySoul]

Awww. That out a huge smile on my face. Thank you very much. I love your writing also. Your style is amazing ^.^

[E.Potter]

This is beautiful. Very eloquent portrayal of rising above the pain to seek the good.

[AliceWithAButterflySoul]

Why thank you ^.^

[Arrinae]

Nicely done! I was a very good read. I have no critiques to give.

[AliceWithAButterflySoul]

Thank you very much :)

[Kevin]

I love this poem. It's great. I love how it becomes triumphant towards the end. Great work :)

[AliceWithAButterflySoul]

Why thank you señor Kevin :D