Sea of Endlessness

I got inspired by a song "Dreamcatcher" By Secret Garden. It's such a pretty celtic song! ^_^

My mind lingers
On the songs you once told me
The sparkle of your embrace
So tightly and cold.
My love of the winter grows
as you were once so close
now to face the heart
That drifts slowly away
In this tide, follow the music
Of the Siren's dream.
Until you find my secret place
I call you near,
Hide these wretched thoughts
So sad in your mind
Let me show you joy
in who you are
Follow me here
To the spring of eternity
Until all your pain
Washes away in the tide
In every tear that falls down from your eyes
So childish, so kind
My mind lingers upon
The heart of the sea
Come find me here
In this waterfall
and let me show you
all the beauty of your heart
Of this life you've taken
as a burden, not a blessing.
In this embrace
This last tear
In this sea of endless dreams.

Author's Note

Please be honest. What needs work?

Reviews

[Davia Lynn Bradley]

I love it, and I agree with what the other reviewers have said. amazing imagery, I really feel your pain.

[Red_Queen]

OKay the only reason i ecven read this poem was because your name just sounded so happy i had to see what your writing is like. And well i was not dissapointed. it was good my only complaint is the format you posted it in. i know sometimes The Cafe messes up and posts stuff like this even when you did not type it like that. so maybe it isthat and maybe not my only suggestion is to add some punctuation.

[Reuben Porter]

I have to agree with Vincent Weathers, there are a few places which needs periods and commas, and there are a few unnecessary capitols in there unless you fix the punctuation, BUT it is easy to tell where they belong and it is a very well done poem despite that fault. A little proofreading is all it needs. I will be looking forward to seeing some more of your works in the near future.

Keep up the good work!

[Vincent Weathers]

Well, I do like the content. I understand that this may be the way you write and it could be confusing, but I could tell where the commas and periods should be. It just sounds like they belong there. I like how you describe things. Its sort of mystical to me. I like it.

[eddie]

to be honest this is amazing i like the way you write

[Moonlit-Blues]

Honestly, its been arranged into the form of prose, methinks a poem form would be better. Lovely wording though, tweak the imagery slightly 'until the pain washes away' - reword it 'until the tide washes away the pain' sounds better. Nice, I'm saving this to my favourites. =D