Pieces of Me

There are pieces of me scattered around,
pieces of me broken, lying on the ground,
pieces of me stuck in the past,
pieces of me you cannot grasp,
tiny pieces lay with my mother,
in the bottom of every bottle she consumed,
every vicious blow, physical or other,
tiny pieces forever are doomed,
pieces of me left with them,
who took what they wanted without my consent,
pieces of me left in the screams,
the tears I cried, they haunt my dreams,
pieces of me buried with you,
pieces of me, fragmented, without glue,
broken pieces scattered over the bed,
pieces of you constantly in my head,
I can't escape, I can't win,
pieces of me shattered, due to your sin,
I'm different now, I am lost,
you took pieces of me not knowing the cost,
pieces of me all over your hands,
fragments of me as tiny as sand,
pieces scattered far and near,
this intense pain I cannot bare,
pieces of me broken forever,
can't get them back nor put them together,
neither can you, they no longer exist,
I am in turmoil, while you sit in bliss,
pieces of me drowning in pain,
I'm done, empty, numb, like Novocaine.

Author's Note

Hey all, your feedback would be appreciated, hope you enjoy it.

Reviews

[silence is my soulmate]

This left me in awe,speechless.What a great writer you are!
In this world,I think there are two type of people,we can suggest as "healers":A doctor,and a writer,not necessarily one who is known to be a novelist,or poet or any of the sort.But anyone,who can hold a pen and make it burst in tears either from the sadness or the happiness in his story,or poem.
You're amazing,and so is your work.Keep it up :)

[Broken Wings]

Wow, thank you so much for your kind review. Your words mean a lot to me, they really touched my heart and humbled me. I am so glad that this write was able to draw some emotion out and I am very glad you enjoyed it. It was an emotional write that I started a few years ago when I was in a horrible place in life. I polished a few months back. Thank you again for stopping by, Leah.

[Electric Scribe]

A very emotional journey, one that I can relate to. Often in the past, I have felt disconnected from myself, like I lost pieces that made me human. Over time I realized, that I leave pieces of myself everywhere I go. So do the people whom are in our lives. We trade and exchange until we are not just us. We are entirety, we are everyone, and we are no one because we are always evolving into the next me, I, or you. I pray the dissonance you felt when writing this has subsided and you now know peace, instead of pieces.

[Broken Wings]

I like the way you look at the world. What a beautifully way to think of things. No I still have pieces, but I also have some peace and I have worked out that the pieces of me that others took or are left behind, I don't want because they are broken. I want to find new pieces and create a whole new me, away from the pain and brokeness I feel. It will take time, but I have started on the journey. Thank you so much for stopping by and leaving such a nice comment.

[Electric Scribe]

Thank you for the read =) and it warms my heart to hear that you have peace, and see life as a journey. Much love, your never alone.

[Broken Wings]

Thank you so much :) You too!

[Ravyne Hawke]

I enjoy the flow of this piece and the repetition of "pieces of me." I believe that helped set the pace and tone for the poem. For the most part, your rhyme is enjoyable; however it was also all over the place. Meaning, you weren't consistent with your rhyme scheme. Sometimes it was abab other times aabb, and then sometimes a line wouldn't rhyme at all and the next two lines would be aa.. I think to make this a tighter poem, if you decide to edit, working on your rhyme would be beneficial to the poem. I didn't care much for Novocaine at the end of the poem either. It felt forced. Overall, a really good poem.

[Broken Wings]

Thank you for your honesty. I agree with what you said, the rhyme is a bit all over, there are some lines that are out of place the abab. I will think about how to edit it and make it flow better. Thank you, this is all learning for me so I truly appreciate it :)

[Ravyne Hawke]

You wouldn't believe the number of poems I begin and destroy each day.. writing can be a lot tougher than anyone imagines. I am pleased that you want to learn and that you are open to constructive criticism.

[Broken Wings]

I'm very open to it, it is all learning. I don't take comments to heart because some writers are more experienced and to be able to get advice means that I can work on my own writing and continue to improve, I am a newbie lol. Oh I can imagine, no it certainly isn't easy! But what you do keep of your work is amazing.

[Ravyne Hawke]

Thank you, hun. I am still learning too. Of all the things poetic, I cannot for the life of me write a sonnet.. I practice all the time and cannot get one write.. so see, we all need to practice our craft. *smiles*

[Broken Wings]

I don't think we will ever stop learning, there is so much to learn I believe its endless. But therein lines the beauty of writing, there are so many possibilities.

[B-poet]

I loved the known inner distinction for why the aspects a particular man's life including his heart & soul are shattered into broken pieces beyond his own recognition or control. Great write. A thought provoking read. :)

[Broken Wings]

Thank you Bpoet, I appreciate your review and you taking the time to read it.

[Nkosana B Masuku]

I have to say your wrjting springs from heartfelt emotion.Enjoyed the read

[Broken Wings]

Thank you very much for your comment :) I'm glad you liked it

[Nkosana B Masuku]

You welcome

[Nkosana B Masuku]

You welcome

[zaneybear]

I agree with a previous review, now you may not be able to put these shattered pieces back together the original way, but put them together different ways now and it creates a whole new outlook on things, and you capture an unbearable amount of pain but the way you write you make it so easily relatable and I just fell in love with your writing, keep writing, it gets you through the hard times.

[Broken Wings]

Thank you for your review. Yes that's very true, I like the sound of that. Sometimes pain can take you right to the edge but at that edge you find something beautiful, a chance to recreate and a strength you never knew you had. I'm so glad you liked it :)

[zaneybear]

it's beautiful, simply amazing

[Broken Wings]

Thank you! x

[DJ]

Wow, I feel the hurt and betrayal in this write. You may not be able to put the pieces of you back together but you certainly are creating a beautiful image of your soul with your writing. Perhaps this is the chance you need to 'recreate' yourself after people broke you. Forgive me if I am wrong in saying these things. I can relate to your work and although I don't know you, I can also relate to the pain you express.

[Broken Wings]

Thank you Cairo. Yes your right there, it is a chance to recreate myself. I'm sorry you can relate to the pain in this piece... but it is always nice to know that people relate.

[Michelle Chiafala]

Poignant. I really like your tone in this.

[Broken Wings]

Thank you!

[Wolfwind]

The hardest thing in life is knowing that people can so easily take your DNA and leave you feeling unwoven. =) You've crafted a well presented flow of anguish that ends with an empty barrel. While I could see it was meant to be a very emotional piece. I thought by relating it to DNA gave it a bit of a chuckle to ease the torment.

Thanks for sharing!
Aaron

[Broken Wings]

Thank you Aaron, I like that! I might write another piece with the inspiration you give, thank you for your review I appreciate it. You definitely eased the torment :)

[Wolfwind]

You're very welcome! =)

[Vani Jalagar]

The first person who teach you
The meaning of the word "love"
Will also be
The first person who teaches you the
Meaning of the "pain"

nice poem ....

[Broken Wings]

Nice words. Yes that's very true. Thank you for your kindness :)