Difficulties

I am trying to be more open about my life. I normally keep it bottled up. I am told that isn't healthy, so I'm trying to listen those nagging birds on my shoulder.

There are times when a girl just wants to take her love life out in the yard and shoot it with a sawed-off shotgun. At the moment, I am so there. I feel like the rope in a match of tug-of-war. Let me tell you, it isn't pleasant.  

 

Okay, let me set the scene for you.

 

First, I gotta tell you about the guy I'm in love with. I call him Tattoo Crush because I don't like to give out names and I like being mysterious. When I first met him he lived in northwestern Ohio near Akron. A few days after Halloween he moved out to Washington State to live with his dad for a change of pace. He's twenty-two, a writer, a singer, smart, funny, and tons of fun to talk to. He's the hottest guy I've ever seen and I call him Tattoo Crush, he has tattoos. I have come to be attached to tattoos. Heehee.  

 

I love Tattoo Crush. He pops into my mind at the oddest times and talking to him makes my heart smile. I'm like a lovesick puppy and she says he adores me. Not love, mind you, he doesn't fall in love easily, but who knows what the future holds?  

 

Now, recently another guy has stepped onto the scene. I'll call him Lover Boy. He lives in West Virginia (no, it isn't Derrick Pogue) and he is going to Marshal College. I'm not sure how old he is or what he looks like (sorry if you're reading this, Lover Boy. My memory isn't that good), but I do know that he is very sweet and nice. He's also determined to steal me away from Tattoo Crush. Oh, and he's a little bit suicidal, too. I attract depressed people, I think.

 

So, I want Tattoo Crush and he wants me to a certain extent. Lover Boy wants me and I do like him.

 

Although, I must say that I don’t like Lover Boy all the time. He is very, very literal, so he doesn’t flow with strange thinking and doesn’t like riddles. He doesn’t like things that are out-of-the-box, like abnormal names and wearing purple with red. Most times he just annoys me to the point I wanna backhand him. Tattoo Crush, on the other hand, is nearly impossible to be angry with for very long. He is far more considerate of my feelings than Lover Boy and more will to discuss things without throwing around insults.

 

Other factors are my confidants and soul sister. One of my confidants has taken to calling Lover Boy Fucktard, another calls him Asshat and wants him to fight Tattoo Crush to the death armed with a butter knife while Tattoo Crush wields a chainsaw. Tattoo Crush challenged Lover Boy to a debate over me and which one of them should have me, but Lover Boy refused, claiming that he didn’t want the drama. Lover Boy even has a solution for the drama: hacking. I have no idea how hacking could fix this love tug-of-war, but according to Lover Boy I am over-analyzing the situation. My soul sister has also taken to calling Lover Boy Asshat and gave all his Brownie Points to Tattoo Crush. If Lover Boy and Tattoo Crush did debate over me, Tattoo Crush and his amazing ability to stay calm and diplomatic no matter the situation would have crushed Lover Boy in next to no time. I kid you not; Tattoo Crush amazes me when it comes to disagreements.

 

That calmness may be a reason why I can’t stay mad at him for long. I kinda soak it up like a sponge and it defuses my annoyance. Then I am almost as calm as him and we can better discuss things. It is very interesting.

 

Anyway, back to the main problem. They are still kinda fighting over me.  

 

“And why does that bother you?” a few of you would ask. “Lots of girls would like to see guys fight over her!”  

 

If you know me you know I am very laid back most of the time. I do have my prickly moments, but we all do. I don't like confrontation, I don't like arguing, I am all bark and no bite unless you back me into a corner. I can deal with it easily, but I just don't like it. I also don't like to be a bother and that's what I feel like I am to both of them. I also don't think Lover Boy would give up if I picked Tattoo Crush because I've already told him I love Tattoo Crush and I don't love Lover Boy, I just like him. If I picked Lover Boy I think Tattoo Crush would back off and respect my decision, but I don't want that to happen.  

 

Now you see my dilemma. What is a girl like me gonna do when this kinda thing happens? I've already chosen Tattoo Crush, but Lover Boy is stubborn and is determined to win me. I don't know what to do. I think I'll do what I normally do, though. I'll sit back and see how things unfold, but that doesn't mean my problems are solved. I am bound to have tons more. Why does life have to have so many difficulties?

Author's Note

This is new to me, guys. My life is so uneventful that this is like a brick to the face.