The Well Timed Ghost

Not about what you think it is.

If you can see the hidden ghost,

And ask it for advice.

I’m sure it’d say what you’d want to hear,

You won’t even have to ask twice.

 

If you can take what isn’t yours,

And still not seem to care,

Then what’s to say I left it there,

I’ve only come to share.

 

And if you’re the only reason,

 For the poison in my veins,

I put it there, I didn’t care.

Just tighten up your reigns.

 

But what if one day I break free,

And kill you in my mind,

I’ve saved the date, it’s coming soon,

And you’ll be left behind.

 

What’s to say I won’t see you again,

And still I won’t think twice,

You’re just a tragic memory,

That gave the worst advice.

Author's Note

Random write in the style of one of my favorite songs. But side note I'm very curious to see what you think it's about. And overall how you feel of course.

Reviews

[Dahlia Phoenix]

Nice, nice, NOICE! xD

It has a flow and that flow is unbelievably blunt and it makes this day a lot better. A memory of a memory...

"What’s to say I won’t see you again,

And still I won’t think twice,

You’re just a tragic memory,

That gave the worst advice."

That's the best advice you've given me. :D

[Alana McGuire]

I really really love this. I would quote to you my favorite part, but I would end up copy pasting the whole thing. I tried to find a favorite part again and failed, again. Hahah but seriously, this is wonderful. :)

[~ Stefanie ~]

The flow to this piece was perfect. I loved every line! Wonderful job with this!

[Tai Ryens]

The flow was amazing, and that last stanza was haunting. At first I thought that the line lengths of the poem would ruin the flow, but they just added on to the ease of perhaps saying it out loud.
I thought that this was about a friend who tried to backstab you by giving you bad advice, but you caught him and you're back for revenge. Haha.
Overall adequate write.

[Jack Heslop]

The last verse is lovely. Damning and melodic. Thanks for the read.

[Jupiter Jazz]

I like it. It really picked up and had a quick, bouncy, flow when I hit the second stanza. Good job =)

[soneutral]

I like this poem. This may be a long shot but I think it is about the opposite of our conscience, our id, really, that is more animalistic than practical. The 'kill you in my mind' seems the job of the ego (the rational part of our mind) and that 'You’re just a tragic memory,That gave the worst advice' makes me think of the id resurfacing despite being controlled by the ego.
Am I even close?
:)

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

I found it almost satiricial in the delivery, almost a begouise sense of style to it, well done, good read.

[amdc101]

I'm not really sure what it is about. So many possibilities. I must say, I do not agree with Brenden Moran. I believe that there are no rules in poetry. It is an expression, and however you express yourself is wonderful. Keep writing with your style.

[Brenden Moran]

This poem is written as if it were prose and not actually a poem. While it is well written, I fail to see how it comes together. Most of your lines are long, short, long, short, etc, which can be worked with; but especially when you're trying to rhyme, it doesn't work very well. You try to cram too many words into each line which leaves you with awkward phrasing. Poetry is meant to be a literary device used to phrase something in the least amount of words(now, yes there are other types, but this is common throughout). So, overall, condense. Say more, with less, say less, with more.