Future

History repeats itself.

Future

 

Time is money we spend it bad,

Money is power that's how we read,

The pages of life in a stolen book,

The life in the pages we cannot look,

The knight raises his sword in the name of might,

The sword lost to knight in the burning fight,

Hands raise in the name of glory,

History is what writes this story,

The promised future it used to be,

Right the things that we now see,

Future awaits only the smartest,

The burning fight runs upon you on it's hardest.

Author's Note

Did you like it or not? Leave a review and help me improve my writing.

Reviews

[Stefano Segnan]

Greetings! This poem is quite good. You can transfer the meaning to the reader and the structure of the poem is great as well. I have only one doubt: isn't the poem "stating the obvious" a little too much? For example: "money is power", "the knight rises his sword in the name of might", or "history is what writes this story". As a reader I know that money is power, but what is its influence? And how does history make a story relevant? These are mere examples. Overall, the poem is, as I wrote, quite good.

[BurningPoet]

Hello and thank you for your review!
The poem was stating the obvious indeed, but not every reader knows what obvious is.
Many people think they can recognize "obvious" but in the end, many of them are wrong.

[Stefano Segnan]

I agree with what you said, but I am now sure I didn't explain myself well. What I meant is the fact that the consequence of an idea is obvious. For example the "knight (idea) raises his sword (consequence)" is obvious just as the "wind moves the trees" or "the wind blows"; or "history is what writes this story" like "the sun rises at dawn". This doesn't necessarily mean it isn't a good form to use, I use it often as well. It just felt that it was too much sometimes.

[L.C. Jarrette]

Time is money we spend it bad.
The burning fight runs upon you on it's hardest.


=>i really love the lines that you used here.

[Collyn]

Beautifully written! I really like the image of the knight it adds a lot to the poem. Though, I feel that you could be a little more descriptive and powerful with your vocab instead of using words like "bad" and "smartest"

[BurningPoet]

Thank you for your review! I agree that I should add some more imbued words in my poems. Thanks for noticing1

[Cody Austin]

This poem is applicable to modern perception. "Future awaits only the smartest" I like that, the way I interpreted it was the people who aren't like the knight, someone who calls the shots, someone who doesn't have to put themselves on the line in order to save something, those are the people who will see the future. As artists we do this everyday putting ourselves out there and allowing our art to be the knight to further the cause of our passion whether the knight returns decorated or dead.

[BurningPoet]

Indeed. Thanks for the review Cody!

[jesserose99]

I liked this, the knight tie in was a really nice touch!

[BurningPoet]

It's made to show how people thought about "promised future" in ages of knights where they were promised to have what we have today.. :)