Unstablity

I'm unstable.


All that I am is balancing on what seems like a thin wire. Walking precariously through my short life, while Life itself is blowing wind at me hoping for me to fall. Yet, nothing is underneath to catch me, not even Death.


Whilst walking with arms stretched out trying to hold on to the pathetic strands of sanity I have left, my emotions flare. I may be overcome with my depression. Mayhap, it leaves and anger takes its place. Or, even, maybe I'll leap off the wire in my feelings of helplessness and loneliness. But who knows. Maybe the 'normal' side of me will snap quickly and just fall with the other side.


Or, what if it attempts to jump back upon the wire? It will won't reach, but with that failure, will it enjoy the fall with the other side? Or complain all throughout forever?

Reviews

[MoriartyMesa]

Slightly short in all honesty.

[augustmoon80]

Great use of words. Amazing job.

[stellasautelle]

Powerful stuff.. I love it. You write very well :)

[Sunny Skye]

Amazing very good.

[r]

This is amazing. I love it - I have written a few things like this before. I like the commas where they aren't "grammatically correct". it's meant to give pause, not be grammatically correct. Ignore Weaver - this is a short little narrative or feelings, of philosophy. It's not really a story, in the sense of plot and etc. Don't worry, Vex - I get it anyway. And I love it. Things like this are what I FEED off of - love it. Like the word choice and the concept. Nicely done! (:

[Weaver]

comma after "blowing wind at me"
no comma after "Yet"
comma after "stretched out"
"Mayhap"- This word doesn't work here; it is too old-fashioned for the rest of the writing.
"But who knows" - question mark, not period, after
no comma after "Or"
Technically, the spelling for the title should be "Instability"
There's not actually a story here. It's a description of how the character feels, but there's nothing happening, no plot or other characters. Take this character, give them a situation in which these feelings either cause a conflict or lead to a resoultion of a conflict, and see how it goes.