Boys with brown eyes.

I felt a broken friendship seal its cracks

beneath a light polluted sky, as stars tried to make themselves known.

Hundreds of dollars of therapy couldn’t do what

an hour in pure darkness did.

An impossible hurricane in my chest was calmed

with the soft and concerned stares of recovering drug addicts

and not even a friend’s hug could affect me as much as they did.

The change given from a stranger made the tears stop and

made it hurt just a little less.

 I always thought brown eyes were sordid. Dirt.

But, once I fell in love with two pairs of them,

I learned that even mud can be beautiful.

 In the heat of spring,

I learned what it felt like to have a broken heart

seethe out jealousy instead of pain.

I remember one time, you told me that you loved me

infinity plus one.

To this day, I still don’t know what that meant,

because a month later you were caught

underneath fireworks with another girl while I was fifteen hundred

miles away.

 In a cold December frenzy, a wide-eyed boy

fell for me and, every day, I wished he hadn’t,

for I watched his heart break; over and

over again.

His heart was the first I broke and, for months,

I tried to fix my own feelings,

but I think I just broke the rest.

I left you in the pouring rain, after getting a ride,

and you won’t ever know how much I regretted that.

I no longer do.

I let you borrow my hoodie on a cold April night

and I never told you how happy that made me and I’d gladly do it again.

You were my favorite what-if and my favorite thrill,

but that man aged backwards and lost himself in the sky.

In a painful May, I learned what

damage I could take and I lost myself on that hot afternoon;

that night I found myself in your uncaring arms as I sobbed onto your shirt.

As June slowly crawled to me, I found out that I did love you,

but I couldn’t bear to ever actually tell you,

for I learned how you really were.

That May I learned much more than I should have

and I haven’t been the same since.

Summer was kinder and helped me grow;

but I still haven’t found who I lost,

and all that remains constant are the lessons I’ve learned

from boys with brown eyes.

Author's Note

Hiiiii. c:

Review this, for me? I quite like it and would like to know how it is.

Reviews

[K.M. Lucero]

Beautiful, lovely, emotional. I really loved this!
It touches the heart and speaks for it in a way that few can ever do!

Great job! Keep it up.