Anger written by Bunmi Darling

Article about anger and how to deal with it

Do you know some years ago, I mean just few years ago, little things would upset me and I would get angry, the thing is, I never used to enjoy getting angry as it always leaves me drain, after an anger explosion, it psychologically made me feel like I had gone ten rounds with Mike Tyson. I had to deal with my anger because it was destroying me; it was making me ill to be angry, as it does not suit my spirit to be an angry person…

I would get angry over unnecessarily things like, if I am in a queue and someone cuts in front of me, it used to make me livid. Today I woke up and I thought hey, a lot of people are so angry with themselves and the world and they have no idea why, so I decided I would write an article on anger, perhaps it might help someone, as I am no longer an angry person.

Well, I want to ask you, if you are reading this, "is anger in your daily life? If someone looks at you differently do you get angry? If a delivery is late, do you get angry? Do you get angry, frustrated, or hurt often? Does it seem like being angry is a habit with you now? Guess what it does not have to be.

Do you know how I learnt to control my anger? One morning I woke up, and I remembered a particular person that had offended me before, normally when I think about this particular person, I would be angry in my heart, sometimes shed a tear, but this particular day was different, I remembered this person, and I was not angry, it was pure joy for me. I started thinking about why I was so angry with the person, the person had hurt me deeply in the past, but I had to let go. I went to my bathroom, looked in the mirror and I decided there and then that ANGER was a spirit that comes inside you, it can take hold of your life and destroy so many things. I started looking at anger as a spirit, but it was a spirit I didn't want, from that day, I had control of my own anger. Sometimes when people offend me, the normal thing would be to reply to them, but I just let it go, and I do feel better afterwards.

I would write a letter to myself and b*tch and b*tch, after writing the letters, I would leave it, and then go back to it a day later, it used to make me laugh seeing the jargons I wrote in the moment of madness. There are about six levels involved in healing anger. They are Anger, Hurt, Fear, Regret, Intention, and Love. Each level has two feelings associated with it. For Anger, the feelings are blame and resentment. For Hurt, they are sadness and disappointment. For Fear they are insecurity and wounds. For Regret they are understanding and responsibility. For Intention, they are solutions and wishes. For Love, they are forgiveness and appreciation. You have to work through each feeling in each level until you get to the ultimate, and that is Love.

You cannot be healed of anger until you can love yourself. You cannot be productive until you love yourself. You cannot love others until you can love yourself. Writing a letter to yourself, sometimes several letters is the first step toward recovering your own self-love. Write a letter to yourself starting with —— "I blame you for ____." Write as many sentences as you can, and then go back to it a day or two and have a good laugh at yourself.

Reviews

[Michael X]

astonishing wisdom in your words, as well, you bring up many enlightening points to ponder, as I am sure
many people can relate to your messege in one way or another, i love how you identified the key aspects of anger, the form of self control, but what drives a person to change, or want to change,
its writings like this that bring such questions in the light of answers, you have penned this with such a delicate care, the reader can't help but be affected by the heartfully projected meaning.