Evil Angel

How can things go from bad to worse? I ask myself that question everyday. It seems that's all I ever ask myself anymore. It repeats over & over in my head, like a catchy, annoying melody I can't seem to shake. My Mom is troubled and deals with them everyday, so seeing the strongest woman I know weak down like I've seen her do so many times in the past four years, breaks me down and tears me apart as well. He's the cause of it all, breaking her down, making her fall. It's not worth the tears and the hurt, he's not worth the heartbreak and resentment, and yet I'm the only one who seems to see that; yet we manage to get by, miraculously. It's not enough to get up and start anew, when all that happens is a harder shove, a harder fall. He tore up the pictures, the memories we held so close, he snipped the last thread of hope and strength that was holding her together. He's pig-headed, irresponsible, greedy, vicious, and egotistical, expecting everyone to listen to the words that spew from his fanged mouth like the snake he is. He forces smiles onto the faces of the people who glare at him, who see him for who he is, to hide the truth, to mask how twisted and black his life really is. "Just smile", and everything is fine; "Just smile", and everyone is happy; "Just smile", and we'll get by; "JUST SMILE"....

I'm done smiling and slipping on that sickeningly sweet mask time after time, painting on that sweet, dark clown-like smile every damn day. I won't smile for his sake, him who continues to rip apart and take away the last bit of hope and life we have left, until there's nothing left. Just take the serrated knife away from her heart, from our necks, and let us breathe. Leave as if you never entered, just leave and take your memories with you; leave and let peace settle in your place. I want to spread my broken, crooked wings and protect what's left of the ones I love, keep them safe from harm, hide them away from the eyes that are eager for another life to ruin, another heart to steal, like a fallen angel lead by a dark heart. I want to guard them, love them, put the broken pieces back together, believe in them. Help them get by. I won't ever leave them to die.

Right now, all I feel is fallen...