One year. R.I.P BJT 9/3/2014

The day's fast approaching,
10.. 9... 8...
Next thing I know you've been gone
A whole year,
365 days of experiencing what living without you meant.
And not one second have you left my mind.
I'm thinking about you at every turning point
I miss you but I have to keep it together.
I have loved again, but it's not the same.
Nobody will ever be you,
Not that I'd ever want them too.


There can only ever be one you,
One love like ours...
They say no love is the same.
Well ours, it was heart shattering.
Literally, left mine in pieces.
Most of which you took with you when you departed.
I never thought you'd leave me so soon,
Our life together was just beginning,
And like that it was gone.

Will your memory fade just as fast your life did?
I'd rather not know...
I don't remember what you smell like anymore,
I was holding on to that smell.
But somehow I've lost it.
I don't want to lose what's left of you,
I don't want to lose your memories.
If I lose you, who's left to remember you?

Oh how I'd spend every moment with you differently,
If only I knew that any moment it would be taken..
How it can all be taken with a single gunshot to the head.
I'd tell you I loved you more.
I'd make sure you knew..
I'd try to stop you from reaching the point where you had to end it all.
I'd tell you how much I needed you.
I'd appreciate everything we had.
I'd make sure I never had to lose you if I knew our love would just be a brief moment of my life.


In one door and out the next in a flash.
In just 8 short days,
I'll have to admit...
That I don't miss you any less.
Will it ever stop hurting to miss you?
Missing the way your arms felt wrapped around me.
The way you made me feel better after a long days work.
Showing me how it was ok to be scared.. It's not a weakness.
You showed me that life was worth living.

Amazing man and amazing soldier...
But work sure took the life right out of you.
Trama, flashbacks, memories of war..
PTSD took you from me.
The single gunshot was all the wars left built up inside you.
It's amazing how much power a weapon has when you're barely hanging on...
Even those who have a reason to go on living, can be lost at any moment.