Another Lonely Girl

I got the “Hey” with two (Y)s

Followed by I’m lonely tonight.

I didn’t feel like starting a fight.

So I just said baby I love you, goodnight.

I miss the good morning texts…

And the conversations that never end.

The Kiss me threw the phone kind of calls.

& Falling asleep at night to each others voice.

And all the love I didn’t deserve.

When you told me I was beautiful,

Even when I didn’t feel like it.

I miss holding hands and singing random songs.

But now I’m just another Girl, part of the list.

The ones you call when you get lonely.

No I love you or I miss you just the simple byes.

No falling asleep in your arms, I’m just another girl

So baby please, don’t tell me you’re lonely…

There are other girls you can hold at night.

I know I’m not the only because you know I’d go running

I’m just another lonely girl tonight crying myself to sleep

I don’t want the Hey with two (y)s

 Or the smiley faces that bring back feelings…

I don’t want to be just another girl, I’d rather be the lonely girl.

Let me be tonight, I’ve got just enough self esteem..

To tell you goodbye until another night

 

Reviews

[A.j. Dru]

I really like the way this poem starts. The rhyme and the flow of it really kick-starts my poetic engine. I wish you'd gone back to that rhyme and flow again, maybe even a couple of times--once in the middle and again at the end. It just seemed to have a lot of oomph behind it, if you catch my meaning. I felt that the poem was good overall, but just needed a little something. I think that plugging a couple of parts like that first four lines would really do it. The idea and the emotion behind it is there, I just feel like it could use a couple of more poetic devices or instances thereof. Still, I enjoyed it and hope to see more. Good job!

[emipoemi]

agreed! Overall good job, but not coming back full circle on the musicality/structure kind of undermines the power it conveys.

[Nick.B]

Interesting and very emotional poem shows the feeling of love and it has that feeling of emptiness...well done

[BryanaBear]

thank you

[Dalia]

nice, a bit heartbreaking, but in general you described the feelings very well

[BryanaBear]

Thanks

[Tay]

Nail on the head

[BryanaBear]

Thanks